Credit: Steven Weissman

My kids were sad to see me leave town for the weekend. As a stay-at-home mom, it was hard on me, too. To make it easier on everyone, despite being very pressed for time, I made them a rainbow treasure hunt, setting up a balloon and ribbon at eight points in the park across the street, with the pink balloon revealing the treasure at the end.

In the 10 minutes it took me to pick them up from school, you systematically took it down. Parks staff said it wasn’t them. There were no other kids around who might have thought it was for them. You must have watched me and followed me.

Even the most generous interpretation of your actions leaves me no choice but to assume you are a gosh darn creep. Well, you missed the pink balloon hidden up the tree, so they still found the treasure. May you never find yours, ya fucker.ย 


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