To the neighbor who passive-aggressively fucked with my laundry: Girl, I was there when your dryer stopped. I was fishing my wet clothes out of the washer, your cycle ended, and I thought I’d give you a grace period to collect your stuff. When I went back, your load was still there. It was after 11 p.m. and I needed to wrap this chore up, so I placed your laundry on top of the washer. When I went down 50 minutes later to retrieve my dry clothes, I found the door ajar and the clothes were as wet as when they started.