Please. For the love of god, leash your damn dogs. 

I don’t give a shit if your dog is the goodest boy because news alert: HE ISN’T. Period. Public parks are not a dog park, sidewalks are not a dog park, your fucking unfenced yard is not a dog park. 

Nobody knows your dogs, nobody knows if they will recall—which let’s be honest, they won’t—and I’d like to walk my dog in peace or enjoy outdoor spaces without having to deal with your lack of responsibility and consideration. It’s giving entitlement ick!

Do you need to get something off your chest? Submit an I, Anonymous and we’ll illustrate it! Send your unsigned rant, love letter, confession, or accusation to ianonymous@thestranger.com. Please remember to change the names of the innocent and the guilty. 

8 replies on “Unleashed”

  2. I agree with this. Except inasmuch as it pertains to my dog, who gets to go wherever she likes off leash whenever she likes. Since she’s not just a good dog, she’s actually THE BEST dog!

  3. Fines for off-leash violations range from $50 to $150, and can be $500 at a beach. Want to close the budget shortfall, write some damn tickets (you can even stick to the wealthier parts of town – you’d get a decent number in no time at all)

  5. Yes, and nothing I, A. says here is true, much less reasonable. It’s I way (peaceful, tranquil, asocial) or the I way. In real cities in real societies (the US isn’t one) parks are mostly off-leash dog areas. The dogs and their owners are equally civil. People are polite and considerate; just whistle and the dog comes back. And with offleash areas so much the norm, popular parks don’t get overfull with dog walkers. But in America, where the social spectrum ranges from macho psychopath to entitled bimbo, common social rules don’t apply. Probably all dogs and humans there should be chained and muzzled.

  6. It’s time to skewer & devour every single unleashed lil doggie. Shish-ka-bow-wow w/ red potatoes, onions & peppers, sounds mighty goood right now!

  7. @1

    never let the Good

    be the Enemy of

    the Perfect.

    or is it The

    Other

    Way

    @2 there cannot – by

    Definition — be Two

    ‘BEST DOGS.’ Nice

    Try tho & I Do wish

    your muttley Well

    @3 — arrest their Owners

    beat ‘em down ~ make

    ‘em PAY – trumpfy’s

    gonna LOVE IT!

    @4 – ad Vomitas

    @5 — “Probably all dogs and

    humans there [here] should

    be chained and muzzled.”

    commendable notion

    Gaspar eltrumpfster’s

    gonna get Right On It:

    thee Perfect Role for

    donold’s Hannibal

    @6 – for White-

    House Chef

    @7

    that’s

    This one!

Comments are closed.