MAN FEEDS MORE BREAD TO PIGEONS THAN THEY CAN POSSIBLY EAT
You were having the time of your life feeding birds in Cal Anderson Park on Tuesday afternoon. While people were kicking soccer balls in another part of the park, you were kicking huge rolls—or were they hamburger buns?—to the pigeons, sometimes hitting the pigeons and knocking them sideways from the heaviness of the bread. Two or three of them, having been hit by the latest roll to launch off the tip of your shoe, would panic and scatter, but then eventually regroup around another roll—after all, you’d scattered them everywhere, double-sided rolls perfect for making huge deli sandwiches the likes of which are hard to find in this city. Where’d you get all those rolls? Were you trying to help the birds or harm them? Ambivalent as they must have felt about you, they were at your mercy, as none of them were quite large enough to just pick up a whole roll and carry it somewhere peaceful to eat…