BUYING A BRA DOWNTOWN
We saw you, a super cute teenage brunette in a plaid jacket, giggling and rolling your eyes at the “back fat”–eliminating bras with your lady pal in the lingerie department of the downtown Macy’s. You’re laughing now, but TRUST US—in a few years, you’ll be LOVING these bras almost as much as you’ll be loving your Spanx.
RUNNING DOWN THE STREET IN A SMOCK
We saw you running down the sidewalk with your hair-salon smock still on and your hair obviously in the process of being done. We watched to see what was about to happen, what it was you were doing, where you were headed looking like that and why, and soon enough you’d hustled yourself over to a parking meter. It was then that we understood. You paid for some more time, stuck the new sticker on the inside of your car’s passenger side window, slammed the door, and hustled back to the salon to finish up. Good thinking. There is no point in having a good hair day if it ends in a fucking parking ticket…