An array of mustachioed young women throw their fists in the air, spin around, and yell crassly rhymed obscenities in unison—that is, as close to "in unison" as a living room full of drunken college kids can be. It is all part of a call-and-response ritual for the UW Women's Rugby team at a fundraiser/kegger themed, appropriately, "Mustaches and Beer." A girl whose mustache resembles Gomez Addams's leads the shenanigans. Everyone following her lead—and by that, I mean everyone present—seems well-versed in the antics. At one point in the routine, the group collectively hits the floor. I, a newcomer, remain standing like a moron; a girl nearby taps me on the shoulder and instructs me to get down.

The mustaches themselves run the gamut. They range from felt cutouts to Sharpie drawn-ons, and at least one is made from its wearer's own hair clippings. In the midst of the evening's machismo, two girls strip down to their sports bras and flex for a small gathering of dazzled onlookers. As promised in the invite, Beyoncé's "Single Ladies" comes on over the speakers. The dance floor, um, living room, is packed.

Other partyers wait in line for their turn at the keg. As we arrive, the unthinkable has occurred: The keg cups have run out. A scramble to get to the store ensues, but before the Safeway voyagers return, a young woman appears with a couple of questionably-used-but-rinsed-out-for-our-pleasure plastic receptacles. They are filled with a careful ratio of approximately half beer and half foam. Oh, college: Do we miss your frantic, youthful keggers? Not really. But thanks for letting us visit.

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