Credit: Angel Ceballos
Thurs 7/22

SQUARE! AT RE-BAR

Tonight we invade Re-bar for the premiere of an original night thunked up by the beautiful brains of the stunning Stella Rose Saint Claire and something called a “Nark,” et al. It’s called “Square!” It’s a “Mock Hop” (hardee, har), and the theme is basically Hairspray—the 1988 John Waters, not the 2002-ish Broadway reboot, they’ll have you know. (I’m not quite so certain of the difference.) Dress the theme! Or they’ll slap you in the face! Re-bar,
10 pm, $5–$7, 21+.

Fri 7/23

INFERNO AT THE HISTORIC UNIVERSITY THEATER

Closing weekend of this most strange and gay improv cabaret, staged in hell. Devils! Drag queens! Sin, sin, SIN! It’s been running all summer—and this is your last damn chance. Historic University Theater, 8 pm, $10, all ages!

Sat 7/24

Rock the Block! Karaoke At
ANNEX THEATRE

It’s an event tailor-made for hot theater geeks and adorable wannabe indie-pop fags. Hosted by the inimitably charming and beautiful Ade! (I’m giving away tickets on thestranger.com/lineout the day of show! Log on to win, win, WIN!) Can you out-sing the Capitol Hill Block Party? Annex Theatre, 8 pm, $5, 21+.

Sun 7/25

THE TINIEST TEA DANCE AT PONY

Hide from the Lord with DJs El Toro and Freddy, a sunny deck, and unquenchable male beauty. Pony, 4 pm, free, 21+. ADRIAN RYAN

Assert your gayness to adrian@
thestranger.com.

Adrian Ryan is a Stranger senior contributing writer and nightlife columnist. He has been writing for The Stranger since late 1997, and he’s pretty sure he still hasn’t been paid for some really early...