by DJ Kaos
(Rong/DFA)
It took until 2005 for someone to come up with what, in retrospect,
is the most obvious musical term in the world: “yacht rock.” It came
from a cult-classic internet comedy series—a dozen five-minute
episodes total, featuring made-up “true stories” of the making of, for
example, the Doobie Brothers’ “What a Fool Believes,” Toto’s “Rosanna,”
and Steely Dan’s “FM.” (The latter, it transpires, emerged in the wake
of a blood feud between the Dan and the Eagles.) So at this point you’d
figure anyone working in that vein who isn’t a more-or-less earnest
singer-songwriter or soft-rock type is doing so through a couple layers
of irony, at least.
But what if they wound up at yacht rock by accident? On its own,
Berlin’s DJ Kaos’s “Love the Nite Away” is more or less a
straightforward pastiche of sleazy early-’80s disco rock: grinding
guitar (choked rhythm, flashy lead), tense hi-hats, and a singer
hollering like he’s lost his wallet at the notorious NYC gay S/M spot
the Mineshaft—as well as an obligatory percussion breakdown (DFA
distributes the record, after all). But when the Swedish duo Tiedye get
their hands on it, everything utterly changes. Loping bongos set the
tone; a pearly, blooping keyboard undulates under the surface
throughout like ocean water; the guitars make like Jeff “Skunk” Baxter
getting breezy for Becker and Fagen—the solo is as ripe as
Camembert and every bit as flavorful.
In this context, the lyrics take on a just different enough meaning:
“My body needs to talk to you,” with its faint Daryl Hall falsetto spin
on the “you,” is still sleazy, but instead of leather and chains it
evokes Hawaiian shirts and tequila sunrises. The make or break here is
the dab of echo placed on the end of the line “I’m touchin’ you, you’re
touchin’ me—that’s right.” Either you think the whole thing is a
stupid joke or you fall for it utterly. Me? I’ll see the rest of you
poolside.
by Jay-Z ft. Rihanna and Kanye West
(Roc Nation)
Jay-Z’s stupid sudden insistence on strained guitars and beats that
march instead of move (the better to motivate his increasingly
arthritic flow) continues unabated. This is better than “Death of
Autotune” by dint of being less obtrusive, but that doesn’t mean it’s
good. Especially when ‘Ye drops in, recycling ideas he and everyone
else have done better before. “Ever seen a shoe without shoestrings?”
How about a song without a reason to exist? 
I haven’t heard this Jay-Z song that you speak about, but I have SEEN shoes without shoestrings. Loafers, zip-up boots, those smurf-ish closed toed birkenstocks, the hipster no lace converse all-stars, slip on vans, flip flops, velcro bike shoes…the list goes on and on. I’m not saying the songs good; I’m just saying it’s a stupid analogy.
And thanks to your article I listened to the song and I think the lyric is ‘have you ever HAD shoes without shoe strings’ which makes more sense as a question than what you decided to quote. If you’re going to critique someone you should still have the decency to quote them correctly. By the way; when’s your next song coming out.