The Urban Dictionary describes a Sarah-bration as a party that
celebrates Sarah. The person behind this entry is none other than
Sarah Turner, who on May 29 held a party at Moe Bar to celebrate
herself, Sarah, and her achievements—she was graduating from
college with a major in philosophy and a minor in medical ethics.
I arrived at around 10:00 p.m. and met Barfly of the Saturday
Knights. He was sitting with the producer Mr. Hill at one of the two
tables designated for the party. I had a curious conversation with
Barfly. It all began when either he or I brought up the ShamWow
pitchman’s recent arrest for assaulting a hooker. Barfly explained to
me that Vince Shlomi (the ShamWow guy) had actually made a movie with
Scientology money and somehow the whole business went wrong. He now
spends of much his time fighting Scientology in the courts. “But you
can’t win against Scientology, you know why?” Barfly asked. I told
Barfly I did not know why. “There are two groups that run Hollywood.
Two. One is AA: Those guys run the city. Go to an AA meeting and you
see all these Hollywood execs and actors. That’s where they go, AA. The
other is Scientology. Those two run the city.”
Barfly now divides his time between Long Beach and Seattle; he
cannot be faithful to either city. “Where do you keep your
stuff, if you’re moving all the time?” I asked him. “Basements all over
the place,” he said and laughed. The party moved outside at around
11:00 p.m., when the Armadillo Barbecue truck showed up. I left the
scene as people ate slow-cooked meat on the street. 
Want to inform The Stranger about conspiracies involving
the Scientology/sober-person axis at your house party? E-mail
the date, place, and party details to partycrasher@thestranger.com.
