When: Fri Dec 10 Where: Pine St and Bellevue Ave
We were led up a worn staircase, past a shopping cart parked in the second-floor hallway, and into a two-bedroom apartment filled with about five people. Guys, mostly. One of them was wearing a Shriner’s cap. There was an empty bong out, a frosted cake with “CHOW DOWN” spelled out in green icing, and a sign-up sheet for “Feats of Strength.” A bunch of SU alums throw this Festivus every year–a holiday invented on Seinfeld–and this year’s “Feats of Strength” was a race: You had to guzzle an Irish car bomb (a shot, half Jameson and half Bailey’s, dropped into pint of Guinness), knock back a shot of 80-proof liquor, and smoke a cigarette down to the line that had been drawn on it. The first person to complete the three tasks won, like, some beer or something. “If I were to attempt this right now, I would surely choke on my own vomit,” someone said.
When all was said and done, about a dozen people (including a couple girls) participated and none of them (at least by the time we left) vomited, although someone did pass out on a pile of jackets. After “Feats of Strength” and before I got stuck in one of the back bedrooms with a bunch of other people–including the guy who kept announcing that he’d just broken up with his girlfriend because she’s “a whore” and “a bitch” and “she wouldn’t suck my dick”–there was an awards ceremony of sorts in the living room, full of announcements, collegial camaraderie, and chintzy prizes. “I feel like I’m watching Canadian television,” a friend of mine said. “Like, I kind of get it, but not really.”
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