Party Crasher

Sure, lots of people got drunk at the Bacon Salt–sponsored
Bacathlon (for further proof, see Drunk of the Week, page 51). There
were all kinds of themed drinks, including one that was just a shot of
Maker’s with a piece of bacon in it. And, sure, on a whim, a couple of
those drunk people got free, very permanent bacon tattoos at the
party (including someone who had never gotten a tattoo before in his
whole life). And, sure, local celebrities like Seattle Sounder Ben
Dragavon took part in competitive bouts of beer pong and a game that
involved tossing raw pieces of bacon at a hole in a board.

But if you’re just going to focus on the drunken excess, you’re
ignoring the fact that partyers gathered to raise more than $5,000 for
Ashley’s Team, a charity that benefits kids with cancer and the
families who love them. Plus: History was made. Seattle’s preeminent
competitive eater, Erik “the Red” Denmark, ate two pounds, eight
ounces of bacon—130 strips!—in exactly 10 minutes,
setting the world’s record.

People treated their lips with bacon-flavored lip balm, ate BLTs
slathered in Baconnaise, and enjoyed Bacon Pop (surprisingly delicious
bacon-flavored microwave popcorn). They dipped their vegetables in
bacon-flavored ranch dressing. One small man, no doubt seduced by all
the love in the air, danced like a hippie until he nearly got clobbered
by a drunken man dressed as a giant piece of bacon riding at top
speed on a tricycle. His eyes bugged from his head, and his hippie
dance evaporated into self-preservation. Suddenly sober, he went to get
another drink. Bacon giveth, and bacon taketh away.

Want The Stranger to develop a mad crush on the Rat City
Rollergirl named Sheeza Brickhouse at your house party? Send the
date, place, and party details to partycrasher@thestranger.com.