Hundreds of people inside the Evo snowboard store, most decked out
in various neon duds, are glowing in the mild black light coming down
from the rafters. There are DJs spinning, some sort of
green-screen-karaoke-video thing, and all the free beer, vodka, and
Vitaminwater I can drink. Most importantly, though, there are
breakdancers. They call themselves the Fraggle Rock Crew, and they
battle each other in a giant dance circle to the steadfast attention
and cheers of the onlooking crowd. I’m sure I could have guessed this
before experiencing it firsthand, but getting drunk and watching people
flip and spin on their heads is a real good time.
After a rousing performance by Kid Sister and DJ Josh of
Flosstradamus, and several Stoli Vitaminwaters, I find myself in a
rather long line for the bathroom. I’m chatting with the gentleman
beside me when a guy walks up wearing a neon-orange-stained dress
shirt, sunglasses, socks, and no trousers. He begins sternly
interrogating me and the guy I’m chatting with: “What are you two doing
here? I’m an investigative journalist; I want to know your story,” he
asks with authority. “I work here,” says the guy next to me. I look him
straight in the eye: “I’m actually an investigative journalist. I’m
reviewing this party for a newspaper.”
He suddenly deflates. “Oh… dude,” he mutters. “Ultimate cock
block.”
I look around. There are no girls paying attention to us. 
Want to spill your drink all over The Stranger‘s
new white kicks at your party? E-mail the date, place, time, and
party details to partycrasher@thestranger.com.