Upon my arriving at “the Bowie Room” and introducing myself, a
fellow named Jonathan quips, “You’re from The Stranger? I
feel like I need to get really drunk now to give you something to
write about.” I tell him to go for it. Three bands are playing “Gina’s
Big Gaye Birthday Bash for Bad Kids,” and by the end of the first band,
Halophile, one belligerently drunk guy is already trying to pick
fights. He is asked to leave the party, and as he stumbles to the lawn
his roommate and neighbor wrestle him to the ground and take his keys.
This only infuriates the drunkard, and he tries to start a fight with
his neighbor, who is over twice his age. With little effort the
older gentleman pins the drunkard to the turf and exclaims, “I’m
gonna call your mom, motherfucker! I know she’s home, it’s
Christmaaaaas!”
As he mentioned he might, Jonathan gets blackout drunk before his
band Ivan the Wheel headlines the show. He is defiantly out of tune
with the rest of his band and far too drunk to perform properly. By the
end of the set he is on his knees in front of his amp, making
squelching noises out of his guitar and slamming it over and over into
the cabinet. His bandmates are noticeably frustrated, but it’s a
fascinating and entertaining train wreck. Ivan the Wheel is a grungy
band, and this is the grungiest display I’ve seen in ages. 
Want to make fun of The Stranger for smoking clove
cigarettes at your next party? Well go ahead, you’ll find me laughing
in my flavor grave. E-mail the date, place, time, and party details to
partycrasher@thestranger.com.