Party Crasher

Steve Thornton, perhaps best known to readers of The Stranger as Fnarf, the pithy, prolific Slog commenter, who is also a blogger and
the founder and longtime moderator of the Indiepop List, celebrated his
50th birthday two weekends ago at his house three blocks north of the
zoo. He wore blue-striped seersucker (“Frowned upon after Labor Day but
fuck it, I’m a rule breaker“). He danced between flipping beef
patties on the grill. He proudly pointed out a painting in the living
room of his extended family that his father, who’d worked for Boeing,
commissioned; the artist painted aircraft portraits for promotional
materials, had no skill whatsoever at painting people, and couldn’t
paint eyes, so everyone depicted appears squinting or blind (“It’s my favorite painting”). He walked into the kitchen, where
someone was explaining the incestuousness of this social
circle—contributors to the Indiepop List, readers of the Indiepop
List, members of bands written about by the Indiepop List (namely,
Tullycraft), people who used to work at Kinko’s with members of
Tullycraft, people who work for the label (Magic Marker) that puts out
Tullycraft’s albums—he heard the word “incest” and said,
“Incense?”

“Incest.”

“Oh, incest,” Steve replied. “A game the whole family can
play.”

Guests came from as far away as Germany, Portland, and West Seattle.
One of them was a 3-week-old baby with one of those little old man
faces—he looked decades older than the man of honor. The
party concluded with covers by members of Tullycraft of songs Steve
loves, including a gorgeous rendition of the Lucksmiths’ “Smokers in
Love,” and a game of trivia about Steve. He used to work in the Harvard
University Library system, although he doesn’t have a college degree;
his favorite writers are Vladimir Nabokov and Kingsley Amis; and the
most quarters he’s ever stuffed into his nose at once is 16. “They just
go right in,” he said, taking a quarter out of his pocket and slipping
it effortlessly into a nostril. CHRISTOPHER FRIZZELLE

Want a random Stranger staffer to eat gallons of homemade
guacamole at your next house party? Send details to
partycrasher@thestranger.com.