It is Halloween. I am passing alone, on foot, through a
singularly dreary tract of Green Lake. The wind murmurs through a
construction site across the street from a house with a red-lit porch.
There is an iciness, a sinking, a sickening of the heart. In that house
of gloom I now propose to myself a sojourn of some hours. What depraved
horrors await me inside?
“Everyone dance or I’ll kick you out,” advises an authoritative girl
wearing a Promiscuous Palin outfit. Hot Tamales litter a table pushed
into the corner in an attempt to clear space for a dance floor. A
baby doll hangs from the ceiling and “HELP” is crudely written with
what appears to be duct tape on the wall. The party is winding down
as I rebelliously avoid the dance floor by hiding in the well-lit
kitchen. The Tree of Knowledge stands next to me, playing with an
untouched apple in his hands. A fully clothed Eve is talking to him,
and I begin to nervously keep an eye out for serpents. Somebody pushes
a wine bottle toward me, but before I have a chance to react,
Promiscuous Palin shouts, “Everybody’s leaving and I’m going to bed in
retaliation.”
From that kitchen and from that house, I flee, aghast. The
wind is still uttering its murmurs as I find myself crossing the road.
Suddenly, there shoots along the road a wild light and there drives by
the Tree of Knowledge in a Honda Civic. 
Want The Stranger to callously ignore
the baby doll’s
pleas for help at your house party? E-mail the date, place,
time, and party details to partycrasher@
thestranger.com.
Listen, I don’t know who this Palin girl is but she sounds like a spoiled, self-centered brat. And who the hell hangs a baby from the ceiling, even on Halloween? This puts the entire neighborhood of Green Lake to shame.
She’s my roommate.
I am this palin girl…and I am authoritative!
I like dancing, and if you’re going to crash a party I helped host, you better be ready to dance.
And I hung the baby (doll) from the ceiling, real horror show like…
Was dan a sex offender? wait, he wouldn’t need to dress up for that.
Listen, Ray J Da Pimp… nice name by the way. You MUST know this girl. She is ALWAYS trying to get me to dance which is SO bratty. and she always TAKES my baby DOLLS and hangs them from the ceiling…SO spoiled, not to mention SELF-CENTERED. Finally someone else understands the pain I’m put through just being in her presence.
hot earings!
Dan, your a huge piece of shit. Hope you know that and never forget it.
God I’m Awesome…
God…I’m awesome.
Dan…your huge piece of shit…is in my closet.
I hope you never forget that, love.
This article is getting way too much attention given how horribly it was written..
maybe dan shouldve acted his age and made a formal apology to the school and students so we wouldnt all hate him as much as we do.
honestly, grow a pair.