Credit: Josh Bis

It happens every year like clockwork around Block Party o’clock: A buncha yahoos come out of the woodwork and start crying. “Cry, cry, cry,” they cry. They cry in the streets, they cry on the blogs, they cry in the Stranger‘s e-mail: “It is such BULLSHIT,” they cry, “that Capitol Hill Block Party is called a ‘block party,’ because block parties are FREE, but the Capitol Hill Block Party costs MONEY, and at the Capitol Hill Block Party you don’t even get Old Man Fitzgibbons’s famous macaroni salad like we have at MY block party on MY block! Cryyyyyy, cry, cry! I am the worst person ever!”

Well, worst person ever, I have some questions for you. Do incredibly famous and expensive bands play at your block party? Do you pay them in Old Man Fitzgibbons’s famous macaroni salad? Are you familiar with the concept of “an event” having “a name”? When you go to Bumbershoot, are you confused that it is not, in fact, an umbrella festival? When you go to Folklife, are you angry because it is neither folksy nor populated by the living? When you go to Sasquatch!, are you all, “HUUURRRRRRRR!!! WHUR’S THE BIGFOOTS!? I’M ANGRY! DUR DUR DURRR CRYPTOZOOLOGY FART!!!” Do you expect the Seattle Erotic Art Festival to be actually erotic?

It’s called the Block Party. That’s its name. It is not the same as the block party that you have on your block. And if you’re that mad that someone is having a big party in the street and listening to music and charging money and calling it a block party—then just HAVE A FUCKING BLOCK PARTY ON YOUR OWN PRECIOUS FUCKING BLOCK. recommended

Lindy West was born an unremarkable female baby in Seattle, Washington. The former Stranger writer covered movies, movie stars, exclamation points, lady stuff, large frightening fish, and much, much more....

22 replies on “Shut Up!”

  6. It should be free and free of “incredibly famous and expensive bands”. How about a free block party with bands that live in the neighborhood?

  13. I don’t necessarily have a problem with the price so much as a problem with the amenities. Neumo’s is the worst venue during summer in the city as far as I’m concerned. The drink options are appallingly bad. The space is way too small for what the Block Party has become. You have to be a VIP or a 22 year old to be able to tolerate it.

  17. Hey if you want a block party, come to “Beacon Rocks!” on July 31st and August 28th. Its on the Festival Street (the only Festival Street in Seattle so far) next to the Beacon Hill Light Rail Station. It’s free and the festival street is only one block long (and actually a pretty short block) so it is a TRUE “block” party. Hey, maybe in 10 years we can work our way up to a Capitol Hill Block Party kind of thing (I’m no hater of success, good for them!) but for now you can come to Beacon Hill to experience that old school (yea, that DOES mean low budget) block party experience on the last Sunday of July and August 1-5 pm.

  19. This article totally ignores the fact the Cap Hill Block Party WAS FREE for years and years. It was just local music and people hanging out. Now this is just more-trendy Bumbershoot.

    Plus….nice conflict of interest here. Stranger writer telling people not to complain about pricing at “The Stranger’s Capitol Hill Block Party.”

  21. “—then just HAVE A FUCKING BLOCK PARTY ON YOUR OWN PRECIOUS FUCKING BLOCK. ” sure let me just OH FUCK! Someone blocked off the streets and is charging money to go through!

  22. Hey lindy- Do your homework. I realize the block party has gone corporate. That’s fine. But at least acknowledge how it began.

    Yes, I hate block party. HATE it. You know why? Because people come and trash my neighborhood and at the end of the day, the caphill community/music scene is no better off.

    Might I also add, if the Stranger weren’t behind this and reaping it’s benefits, it too would be condemning what the block party has mutated into.

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