DUNE
It’s Sting! In his underpants! STING IN UNDERPANTS! Central Cinema, $6 adv/
$8 DOS, 7 pm, all ages.
COMEBACK
Too long we’ve suffered. The nightmare must end! It’s straight girls we’re talking about here, specifically in gay bars, and QUICK! PLEASE NOTE! I’m most certainly NOT talking to and/or about the fabulous and frolicsome breeder-girls who really understand us and love us and realize that it is two-thousand-and-fucking-eleven already (thank you). Heavens no! They are much-welcomed, beloved, and necessary. We’re talking about the hysterical bridal-shower-in-a-gay-bar crowd—roving/raving herds of invading “I-just-LUUUUURVE-gay-clubs-because-I-can-just-DANCE-and-have-FUN-with-no-pressure-and-don’t-have-to-WORRY-about-guys-HITTING-ON-ME-or-anything-SQUEEEE!” That’s who. And I was molested by TWO (yes, TWO!!!) packs of these rude and ridiculous ninnies just last week at two very gay bars. Me! Here! Smack in the middle of the Great Gay Renaissance! How alienating. How nineteen-ninety-two. Gay bars do not equal Disneyland for condescending drunk chicks on bridal binges, I’d like the world to know (pass it on!). And frankly, considering the state of gay marriage, it’s more than a smidge fucking crass. And the next time I’m cornered and given the “Oooooh! I just LURVE gay bars…” speech when I am JUST ABOUT to make a move on a SUPER-HOT GUY, some bridal-bimbo is gonna suddenly feel a well-polished Fluevog right up her ass. That’s all. And thank you for letting me get this off my chest. Also, it’s really important that you go to Comeback tonight because Larry Tee from NYC is appearing, and he has been described thusly: “A club kid before Michael Alig dismembered one.” This is, of course, probably the most perversely delightful thing ever said about anyone. Admit it. (No fucking bridal showers!) Chop Suey, $8, 9 pm, 21+.
VOGUE
Back, back we go! Into the misty realms of ancient gay history: the old and original Vogue, down on First Ave. It was a rather infamous gay indie-goth club, and, if you didn’t know, it had a second incarnation for a while roughly where Purr sits today, and, even though she went tits up long ago, Roxy Doll has been keeping her spooky spirit alive for four years now—every week in Neighbours Underground. Tonight is the anniversary of her vigil. Break out the black eyeliner and Bauhaus sensibilities—it’s time to Siouxie your Banshee…again! Neighbours Underground, 9 pm, $5, 21+.
Oh jesus, Seattle needs to get its stick out of its collective ass. I had my bachelorette at Pony because they’re the only club that plays decent dance music that’s not boring, repetitive electronica on Saturday nights. I sure hope we didn’t “offend” anyone by being a group of girls who were talking and having a good fucking time. Heaven forbid.
It seems like people who bash bachelorettes actually just find women annoying. Why don’t you just say that.
No, they probably find drunk girls hitting on them annoying, especially when they’re at a gay bar. You go there so you don’t get hit on by guys, they go there so they do.
Also, yes, when you’re flashing your ring it can be annoying that you’re getting married when my boyfriend and I can’t. Unless you’re making a donation to a gay rights group on your way in, feel free to stay out (unless, like a good friend of mine who got married last summer, you have a good amount of gays with you.)
No, they probably find drunk girls hitting on them annoying, especially when they’re at a gay bar. You go there so you don’t get hit on by guys, they go there so they do.
Also, yes, when you’re flashing your ring it can be annoying that you’re getting married when my boyfriend and I can’t. Unless you’re making a donation to a gay rights group on your way in, feel free to stay out (unless, like a good friend of mine who got married last summer, you have a good amount of gays with you.)
Have you considered unplugging the karaoke machine?
it’s a bar. those girls have money to spend. unless those two things change you can bitch all you want but it won’t change anything.
Sorry about the drunk party chicks. Hope you don’t think less of all women as a result.
@1, let me break it down for you. Gay men and women can’t just go out with their friends to any bar in town and feel welcome and comfortable. That’s because, by default, every bar that is not specifically a Gay bar is a straight bar. And every restaurant that’s not a Gay restaurant is a straight one. And that goes for every church, and every cafe, and every bookstore and every plumbing supply store etc. etc. The whole world is a straight world, except for these few little places, clumped together mostly in one neighborhood in the city, where Gay people can just hang out.
I’m a straight girl. I like to go to Gay bars, on occasion, with my Gay friends. But I don’t take a whole group of my girlfriends out “slumming” to the Gay bars, because I recognize my privilege and want to respect those few safe places.
That is the best picture that has ever been used on Slog.
@1: “I had my bachelorette at Pony because they’re the only club that plays decent dance music that’s not boring, repetitive electronica on Saturday nights. I sure hope we didn’t “offend” anyone by being a group of girls who were talking and having a good fucking time. Heaven forbid.”
Did you take out your tacky plastic penis jewelry and SQUEAL and throw up everywhere? Because if that’s not you, shut the fuck up.
And yeah, a pack of hetero women in a gay bar is generally trashy.
@9 I agree. Best EVER.
Adrian, I can totally see your point. I would be furious if someone implied that my chosen sexuality made me some kind of novelty.
Ladies, remember that not every gay guy wants to be your platonic teddy bear.
Also, for F-CKs sake, please learn how to handle your liquor. When drunken girls in broken heels and smeared mascara take to the evening streets en masse, we all look a little bit more ridiculous.
Thanks.
There are several gay bars here in Chicago that banned bachelorette parties. I don’t blame them! These guys can’t get married and you’re prancing around wearing your privilege veils. Though now we have civil unions, I wonder if they have re thought that policy.
Can’t stand the bachelorette parties. They show up at wineries as well, essentially treating the property like it’s a free bar. If you’re a loud, obnoxious drunk and/or have no intention of buying, stay the fuck out of the wineries.
And yes, I get pissed off when the drunk frat guys do the same thing. There’s aren’t nearly as many of those, however.
Bi breeder girls. Also, gay bars as low-pressure safe havens from hetmale cruising? Yeah that’s over.
Is it possible for those type of parties to not come to straight bars either?
#8: I love you. #1 should take a cue from you.
Back, as Adrian so pithily puts it, in the misty realms of ancient gay history, when I worked at the Vogue down on first, we dreaded bachelorette parties. One or all of them would eventually get up on the pole and drunkenly attempt a twirl or two to the deafening (and mind you I use that term in the context of a dance club, yes deafening) shrieks of her cohorts. We eventually just referred to these parties of young ladies as Howler Monkeys since that is what they most closely resembled.