Scott Vogel, the lead singer of bombastic L.A. hardcore band
Terror, is infamously expressive onstage, constantly egging on
the boiling mosh pits at their shows to go as fucking nuts as possible.
Adrenaline pumping through his body, Vogel ends up saying some pretty
hilarious shit, like calling for “maximum output,” “more stage dives
in the monitors,” and “dudes fucking dudes front to back and side
to side.”
Out of context, away from the intensity of Terror’s ear-damaging,
body-bruising shows, the quotes look even funnier. A website
dedicated to his banter, www.vogelisms.com, shows quote after
quote of things the singer has said onstage, and it’s hilarious.
But even with the ridiculous demands for more stage dives in the
monitors, you can’t deny that Terror put on a hell of a show. If you
want to see just how crazy mosh pits can get, the band play Studio
Seven Sunday, March 9, with the recently reunited straight-edge, vegan
hardcore legends Earth Crisis.
While you’re waiting for Terror to rip your brain out of your head,
here’s a little game celebrating Vogel’s witticisms. Some of
these quotes are fake, most are real. See how many you and your friends
can identify. Winner gets to do the first stage dive.
1. “It doesn’t matter if you have a dick or a pussy, we all belong
here.”
2. “Dude, I loved your band’s cover of ‘Straight Edge Revenge.’ I
would’ve sang along, but I was at the back buying beers.”
3. “This song is created for dance-floor destruction!”
4. “Get up here and shake your booty.”
5. “I need your help singing along to this one. It’s called ‘Don’t
Need Your Help.'”
6. “I want to see all of you fucking… fucking… fuck it. Go!”
7. “Lately, there’s been way too many fights at Terror shows, and we
are getting sick of it! This shit’s positive! Let’s fuck this place
up!”
8. “Come up here and sing with me—if you don’t know the words,
kill the motherfucker next to you, and if you don’t wanna do that,
throw a dime sack up here.”
9. “Level seven stage dive activate!”
10. “Grab your dicks, feel your pussies, let’s move this shit!”
KEY: 1. Real. 2. Real. 3. Real. 4. Real. 5. Real 6. Fuck it. They’re
all real. I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried.