Two Americans in Tehran: Sentenced to eight years in prison for espionage after the hikers’ July 31st closed-court hearing.

JOBS IN BOTHELL!: Google brings the race for tech talent to Microsoft and Amazon’s back yard.

Europe’s in Trouble: Because Germany’s economy is stalling (along with the usual suspects), and when the next European country defaults, no one in Germany is gonna want to do anything about it. Whoops.

The Lynnwood Cartel?!: Drug runners in Lynwood allegedly linked to the Mexican Sinaloa cartel, the scary cartel that’s been responsible for Mexico lately. Whoops.

Come ON, Lynnwood: Serial brush fires prompt an arson alert. The Stranger attempted to reach a non (alleged) arsonist or drug runner for comment in Lynnwood, but was unsuccessful.

Not Done Yet: Lynnwood Police chief Steve Jensen admits that red-light cameras are about revenue. Arsonists and drug runners reportedly account for 87% of camera revenue.

Thanks, Tea Party: Anyone with an IRA probably noticed this past week. Maybe it’s not a good idea to have the whole country talk about a completely arbitrary debt limit for a whole month?

William Shatner Can Get a Google+ Profile Now!: Google figures out how to not ban celebrities that sign up for their nascent social network.

HP Gives Up; Gives Their Shit Away: After an aggressive 48 day marketing-intensive and price-cutting campaign to compete with the iPad, the HP webOS TouchPad is now available for $100 (Canadian).

And now, a baboon being a dick to a little girl and her father after the jump. [via Animals Being Dicks]

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20 replies on “The Morning News”

  1. shhhhuuuuush. Just ask Goldy, those goddamn cameras are all about saving lives. He’s got “science”, guys, to back him up. What a turd.

  2. @1, Yeah, keep this under your hat, or he’ll start frothing at the keyboard & we’ll get 10+ posts a day about how they “save lives.” If you’re not careful, he’s gonna start ramming ludicrous statewide initiatives down our throats.

  7. I want to feel sorry for the hikers in Iran, I really do. But I don’t. Anybody who thinks it’s smart to go anywhere near Iran for a “hike” is either a blithering idiot or a spy. Fuck them.

  8. If you actually read the article you would see that it isn’t 8 years for sure yet, it is just as likely that they will be released for their 2 years already served. Maybe read the article before you make “factual” statements like that intern boy.

  9. @7, spoken with all the compassion and intellectual nuance of a teabagger. All good conservatives know that “blithering idiots” deserve to go to prison! No wonder you’re an Obama supporter. Empathy is for pussies! U-S-A! U-S-A!

  11. Europe in Trouble?!

    German Bonds TANKING?!?

    O.M.G…..

    just last week wasn’t slog telling us that
    Germany-
    with Strong Unions™
    had a BOOMING economy
    and was an example for the USA?!

    earth to slog:

    EUROPE IS BANKRUPT

    It;
    literally;
    can not pay its pensions and lavish union benefits.

    EUROPE IS BANKRUPT……

    and so will anyone else
    who follows their socialist welfare state model..

  12. Re: the baboon .gif, animal behavior and communication are complicated, and best not judged by human standards. Presentation of the anogenital region, for example, is not at all necessarily either rude or hostile. I’m not a baboon expert, and it’s hard to tell from the grainy images, but that may be a young female impressed by hot bearded daddy (now who’s judging?!) who decides to invite copulation. The open-mouth expression strikes me as more of a play-face than something aggressive. (Females and immature males lack the huge “canine” teeth of dominant mature males.)

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