BP says oil from its broken well has stopped gushing into the Gulf of Mexico for the first time since April.
The announcement Thursday came after company officials said all valves had been shut on a new cap over the busted well in an experiment to stop the spill.
Kent Wells, a BP PLC vice president, said at a news briefing that oil stopped flowing into the water at 2:25 p.m. CDT.
This isn’t definitive or over, of course, and they’re still testing to see if the cap will hold long enough to get the relief wells finished, but if, if, and if, it’s a big milestone.
God speed, little cap.
I want to be happy. But I’m just relieved. Fucking BP. Fucking oil. Fucking mess. The cap on Cheney’s evil heart is working too. Fucking Cheney.
Fucking oil caps, how do they work?
BP doesn’t have enough credibility for me to believe them.
Um, I smell something fishy in this statement.
Let’s see: oil is the resulting product of intense pressure being applied to decomposing organic matter over tens of millions of years. Hence, oil is not “new” in the sense that it was created literally eons ago, and has been quietly residing below the surface of the earth since long before mankind’s ancestors learned to walk on their hind legs.
Thus, when BP says “no ‘new’ oil is flowing into the gulf”, they are technically correct, since all oil is, by definition, old.
If it weren’t for the fact I possess a conscience, I think I’d have a future in Public Relations…
wait, why didn’t we try this first?
I still don’t see why we just don’t send Cheney into the Gulf. He’s obviously a waterproof cyborg who can eat all the excess oil for us…and he can probably kill a few sharks when he needs protein.
……I feel like I sounded like Will there, but I can’t bring myself to delete it.