Last Days: Looks like Subway (and the Duggars) Need a New Spokesperson

Some people stand in the darkness, afraid to step into the light. Some people need to help somebody, when the edge of surrender’s in sight.

MONDAY, AUGUST 17 In news that will make you vomit your foot-long Veggie Delite, longtime Subway spokesman Jared Fogle (who famously lost weight eating the company’s sandwiches) has been charged with committing sex acts with minors and receiving child pornography. (Note: You might want to pop a couple of nausea tablets, because the story just gets worse from here.) According to ABC News, the Feds allege this married father of two has been pursuing illegal sex acts since 2007 and as recently as June. In 2012, he allegedly paid a 17-year-old—whose age he knew in advance—to have sex with him at New York’s Plaza Hotel. He was later accused of sending texts to escorts “soliciting them to provide him with access to minors as young as 14 to 15 years.” (GAHHHH! Let’s pause for a Listerine shower.)…