Good morning, here is some horrible news: The Taliban killed 80 people and injured 140 others in Pakistan yesterday in response to Osama bin Laden’s assassination.

Also in Pakistan: The Pakistani parliament has called for a review into their relationship with the US over the assassination of Osama bin Laden.

Also horrible: A woman was beheaded by a strange man in a grocery store in Tenerife, Spain yesterday.

This is what’s the matter with Kansas: The legislature just passed a new law that bans insurance companies from offering abortion coverage and cut Planned Parenthood funding.

In Louisiana: Bobby Jindal called for the evacuation of the 25,000 people who live along a Mississippi River spillway that army engineers are opening in an attempt to stop worse flooding elsewhere.

Horrible news for those of us with Tippi Hedren complexes: Parakeets are taking over England.

“A political playa in 2012”: Stephen Colbert has filed (Super) PAC paperwork.

What’s your damage, media? Mayor Mike McGinn requests that the media stop “crowding” him.

Quick! Hide the daisies! There is a flower thief on the loose in Wallingford!

Fucking finally: A squid is going to space.

And now, for no reason, here is Tina Fey and some quality time with women writers throughout history. Good morning!

13 replies on “Morning News”

  1. Someone has been doing the same thing to the succulents in our yard. What’s sad is that I had planned on putting a box out in a few weeks with the leftovers I have and the word “free” on it. Now, I need them to patch the holes up.

  2. Geez, KOMO knocking on the Mayor’s door at 10 pm to ask about a hiring decision? I forget, is KOMO the Marlee Ginter goat station?

  3. With the exception of the coinage Tippi Hendren Complex, the entirety of your Morning News substance is horrible, not the simply the three items you listed.
    Oh, right, there must be something “Genius” in order to acknowledge the Dan Savage school of convenient qualifiers.

  7. Driverless cars may get acceleration in Nevada

    Google has been testing its self-driving cars in California, which is just west of Nevada. So far, Google has six automobiles that it is testing without a driver actively using the steering wheel, accelerator, and brake — you get the picture (although a driver is sitting behind the wheel, just in case).

    The autonomous cars operate with video cameras on the roof, along with a radar-and-laser range finding system, to detect traffic, buildings, and other obstacles.

    http://www.itwire.com/science-news/energ…

  10. British ecologist David Leech on the parakeet ‘splosion: ““It’s absolutely fascinating to have a species come in and proliferate like this; we’ve never seen that before.”

    Yeah. We, on the other hand, have had quite a while to be “fascinated” with your starlings and English sparrows. So thanks for that. (I realize it’s not your fault.)

  11. So, no mention of the judge that was replaced by a Magic 8-Ball?

    Magic 8-Ball, should we vote on the Ordinances the council passed regarding the AWV?
    A: my senses are, yes
    Magic 8-Ball, what will actually be on the ballot?
    A: ask again later
    Magic 8-Ball, do you have the authority to reformulate a ballot measure?
    A: ask again later
    Magic 8-Ball, if there is a vote, what would be its affect?
    A: ask again later

  12. I read something yesterday (sorry, no citation on hand) that said the Pakistani government is saying the bombing wasn’t by the Taliban or related to bin Laden’s death. They’re saying it’s protest for an unrelated military thing in Pakistan, and that the Taliban will take credit for anything and everything. They’ll take credit for farts in an elevator if they think it’ll gain them some street cred.

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