Morning, Slog. I think today’s headlines are remarkable in the sense that, when I saw them, I was completely unsurprised by any of their contents. “Yeah, that sounds about right,” I thought to myself. Some days the news is tragically predictable.

Bean sprouts: responsible for the past week’s European E.coli outbreak. Around 1,700 Germans have been infected by the virus, and a large number of the infected are potentially in life-threatening condition.

Ali Abdullah Saleh: still clinging on to power, despite leaving Yemen to get his head wounds treated in Saudi Arabia. His government used live ammunition against protesters celebrating Saleh’s departure from Yemen.

Trouble in the Golan: according to Syrian state TV, four Syrians were killed at the border with the Golan Heights, which both Syria and Israel claim. Admittedly, Syrian TV not the best source—doubtless Assad is trying to distract attention from his batch of protests by scapegoating Israel for something. Still, Israeli border police are clearly jumpy.

Peru’s election: Keiko Fujimori, the daughter of former right-wing President/autocratic jerk Alberto Fujimori, is running against Ollanta Humala, a left-wing military officer whom the Fujimori campaign has accused of being in cahoots with Hugo Chavez. The two are in a dead heat.

Arizona wildfires: growing. Several thousand firefighters have gone out to try and extinguish a 225 square mile wildfire, which has yet to be contained.

Sarah Palin: didn’t mess up Paul Revere, lamestream media. Why do you guys have to “take her words at face value”? Obviously she doesn’t know the same elitist history as you jerks. You schmucks think that the Constitution separates church and state and dumb crap like that.

Catholic archbishop J. Peter Sartain: Western Washington’s archbishop was profiled in the News Tribune today; 300 Catholic bishops are coming to Bellevue next month. Sartain’s elevation to Archbishop by Pope Benedict was opposed by anti-sexual abuse activists, who noted Sartain’s ordination of a priest who was eventually convicted of abusing a boy.

Here’s Built to Spill.

15 replies on “Morning News”

  5. Actually there are 14 people confirmed dead (not four) and 225 wounded by live ammo fire groom Israeli troops on the border of the Golan Heights. This is independently confirmed by medical personnel in the international press. And it is the second time it’s happened, with similar casualties among protestors. And yes, it is a bit of a distraction in the wake of US condemnation of the Syrian government’s lethal force against protestors.

  7. Schoolchildren (and myself) can easily write longer and more substantive essays about Sarah Palin, than they can about Paul Revere. The media is accomplishing its mission. We, the United States of Lame Media Interns.

  8. damn. i worked for the forest service in that area of eastern arizona for a summer. beautiful country. i hope some of it survives, but this is nature biting us in the ass for suppressing natural wildfires in the first place.

  13. 300 Catholic bishops coming to town, and not one joke? Not even something lame like, “Activities include planting seed with a local cub scout troop?” Nothing? “Choir boys advised to gargle in advance of the full schedule?” No?

  14. Not surprised by the sprouts finding. Those are really germ-culture prone. I hope this is not another false declaration, like the ‘Spanish cucumber’ nonsense which cost farmers dearly.

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