In Syria: Government forces killed 36 people yesterday when they opened fire on protesters in the northern town of Jisr al-Shughour.

In Arizona: With only five percent of last week’s fire contained, firefighters are preparing to face predicted winds up to 30 MPH today.

In Joplin, MO: Eight people have been confirmed to have rare, deadly fungal infection. Three have died, and experts think it may have been caused by last month’s tornado.

Breaking! Formaldehyde isn’t good for you, says the Department of Health.

Run, Newt, Run! Newt Gingrich tells the NY Times it’s not his wife’s fault everybody quit, says he’ll prove his former entire staff wrong!

A Governor Hard at Work*: If you like reading about lies, check out an entire archive of released emails sent by Sarah Palin. You’ll find out about faked TV interviews, newspaper columns published under a different name, and other poor choices. SarahPAC says, “The emails detail a governor hard at work. Everyone should read them.”

At Least None of Them Were Underage? Delaware police are questioning a high school girl in connection with Rep. Anthony Weiner’s texting habit.

Today, in Probably Not Worth It: 12 people got into a half-hour brawl aboard a Virgin Airlines Flight from the UK to Barbados at 30,000 feet yesterday, allegedly in response to one passenger swearing in front of a child.

Today, in Creepy: A 74-year-old was sentenced yesterday in two 40-year-old cold-case murders that happened in Madison Park and the Central District.

Zut Alors! Europe may fine France for mistreating its hamsters.

*To be fair, lying is REALLY hard work.

Finally, for no reason, here’s a little kid dancing with heartwarming flair to some old-school Madonna. Come on, vogue! Good morning.

33 replies on “Morning News”

  2. It would be more clear to say that France got fined for not doing enough to protect endangered hamsters.

  3. Oh god, why won’t this Anthony Weiner thing just go away? So what if he texted a high school girl – he never met her in real life and even her family isn’t all that concerned. Can’t we just drop it already? I used to think the media only went into a frenzy over “infidelity plus” – as in infidelity plus hypocrisy or lawbreaking – but this is infidelity minus. All he did was flirt and exchange photos, he didn’t even meet them for sex! Fucking drop it, stupid media!

  7. #1: WTF are you talking about? First off, there’s no evidence of anything happening despite that article’s best efforts to try to insinuate that something did (it’s what we call bad journalism). Second of all, pedophiles don’t like teenagers you dumb fuck, they like pre-pubescent children. People like you use that term only because you want to think he’s fucking 11 year olds.

  10. #11

    When I was that age, my best friends were Steve and Mike who lived across the street. They were twins and everyone on the block called them The Twins.

    Steve and Mike were an “odd couple” because while Mike loved sports, trucks and dirt, Steve liked playing house and “sweeping” to make things nice and neat. When the family worked mowing the front yard and garden, Stevie would be pushing the broom around, sure to clean up every blade of grass, and make “all nice and neat”.

    They had the first color TV I ever saw, and I used to go there and watch Lost In Space and the Time Tunnel.

  12. @4: he wasn’t “exchanging” sexy pictures with the WWU student, he just sent her a cock shot out of context. It’s fucking creepy and it shows a weird lack of any sense of boundaries. It’s upsetting to me– I really liked him because he spoke so passionately and eloquently on the need to respect women’s bodily autonomy w/r/t their reproductive health, but apparently respecting women’s wishes only went up to “unless I decide it’s time to send them unasked-for cock shots”.

  19. As a veteran, I never get all of these gov’t forces firing on citizens. I know your commander is telling you to, but at some point when you’re blowing away people in your own country, you gotta wonder if something has gone horribly, horribly wrong.

  21. Gingrich’s wife has veto over him going anywhere overnight and can micromanage his schedule and overrule things… Does that ring a bell with anyone else? How does a politician’s wife usually behave if her husband has had an affair and she finds out and then decides he can stay? Sounds just like that to me…!!

  24. FLASH!——-

    DNC Chairwoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz and House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi are calling on Rep. Weiner to resign after the latest incident involving the embattled congressman admitting to contacting teen girl on Twitter

  25. Weiner’s Fifth Sexting Partner Revealed

    The fifth woman in the Weinergate scandal has been identified as Traci Nobles, a Pilates and Zumba instructor who repeatedly referred to the Rep. Anthony Weiner’s genitalia in their online chats, the New York Post reported Friday.
    “Weiner! Way to stand your ground sexy. Keep it up like I know you can!” Nobles wrote in one message on the New York congressman’s Facebook page, the newspaper reported.
    “Heart you, heart your passion, and as always, heart your balls!”
    Weiner confessed Monday to sending lewd photos and suggestive messages through social media sites to six women over a three-year period. The confession came after Weiner spent a week vigorously lying about accidentally sending a photo of his bulging underwear to all of his Twitter followers that was intended to go only to Gennette Cordova, a 21-year-old college student in Seattle. Weiner had claimed his account was hacked and that he was likely the victim of a prank.
    The other women who have come forward are Meagan Broussard, a 26-year-old single mother, Lisa Weiss, a 40-year-old Las Vegas blackjack dealer, and porn star Ginger Lee.
    Nobles, a 34-year-old cheerleading coach and gym coach in Athens, Ga., came forward reluctantly after a roommate sent the Las Vegas Sun a screenshot of a private conversation she had with Weiner.
    “I really regret that this was sent to you,” Nobles told the Sun. “She thought someone should know.”

  27. @20 (did I use @, I meant to use d!)

    As I said, I used the wrong number to make a reference.

    I meant to refer to @3 + 2i which is an imaginary number.

    Imaginary like the imaginary person who I hope will one day appear in the Puget Sound region who does not take everything and everybody literally, and can make even the barest leaps of logic between on thing and another
    w-i-t-h-o-u-t
    i-t
    h-a-v-i-n-g
    t-o
    b-e
    s-p-e-l-l-e-d
    o-u-t
    f-o-r
    t-h-e-m.

    But that is world for science fiction.

    And I’m not really making this comment in reference to you.

    Just my imaginary numbered friend, 3 + 2i.

  29. @29: What the fuck is it lately with you and mathematics? Did you go to night school or something?
    And “3+2i” is NOT imaginary, you buffoonish dweebcake. It’s not real, but it’s not imaginary either. I will buy you a drink next time I see you (I’ll hit up a SLOG Happy! eventually, Bailo) if you can tell me what category “3+2i” ACTUALLY falls into without looking it up.

  30. @36, cut him a little slack. By my calculation, Bailo was proposing marriage to tacomagirl. It’s a sensitive moment for him. The category his numbers fall in is best described as “highly irregular”, possibly off its medication,

  33. That kid rocks! Thanks!

    And Weiner should resign when Senator David Vitter turns himself into a proscutor, confesses his patronization of a prostitute and begs to be sentenced. Fucking Republicans.

Comments are closed.