Obama Politely Points Out That the US Keeps Embarrassing Itself When It Comes to Family-Friendly Workplace Policies

Dear America,

It is ridiculous that the president has to go in front of a camera and say things like “Only three countries in the world report that they don’t offer paid maternity leave. Three! And the United States is one of them.” And: “Family leave, child care, flexibility. These aren’t frills, these are basic needs.” And: “All Americans should be able to care for a family member in need.” YEAH, UM, MOTHER OF NO DUH, Y’ALL. But he still needs to get up there and say it, because we still need to hear it:

This shit is not revolutionary, it’s the most basic of common sense. Here’s the dumbed-down version of all this talk about family-friendly workplace policies: “Hey, you know how you’re alive? And you have families and loved ones who are also living humans? And sometimes you make humans with your bodies, and then care for them for multiple decades in a row? And then decades later, they care for you? Right, biology! This whole being-inderdependent-mammals thing. Oh, and you know how our work culture is so deliriously out of whack with that? And how when you try to make the argument that you’re human, capitalism just says ‘Fuck you, get back to work?’ THAT’S SO DUMB! JESUS, LET’S PULL IT TOGETHER.”

Whew! Had to get that out of my system. The actual un-ranty news here: President Obama is hosting a Working Families Summit today, where he can keep saying the most ridiculously normal things about how human beings deserve to care for their families and still keep their jobs and make enough money to live, and it’s a big deal because we’re still fucking that up. Follow along on Twitter with the hashtag #FamiliesSucceed.