Police Beat

The Munchies/University District/Sat April 15/5:50 pm: Late this afternoon,
a young man who is in the habit of abusing an illegal substance commonly known
as “pot” had what is commonly described as the “munchies.” But the young man
(or “pot head,” as they are commonly called) had insufficient funds to satisfy
this strong craving for heavy food. So he went to the Safeway on Brooklyn Ave
NE, and at the deli section concealed not one, but two packages of eggs in his
sweatshirt. The store’s “loss prevention store detectives” were on their toes
and caught the thief as he attempted to leave the grocery. The brand name for
the eggs this young “pot head” tried to steal was “Eggs on the Run.”

Them Bones/Ravenna/Tues April 18/5:00 pm: Today, an unmarried man who
has been living in a home on Ravenna Blvd for the past year discovered several
bones (between five and 10) at the corner of his home, near the rear door. Homicide
Detective R. O. Keefe (# 4588) responded and took the bones to the police station
to determine their nature. Officer Lamb, who wrote this report, said “the bones
appear to be animal in nature.”

Theft, Sex/South Seattle/Tues April 25/3:00 am: Early in the morning,
Officer George R. Lee and his partner responded to a call at the Ontario Motel
regarding a theft report. Upon arrival, they contacted a man who said he had
invited two females to his room because he felt sorry for them. At about 2:45
am, he went to the bathroom and when he returned he discovered his Nokia cellular
telephone and Walkman cassette player missing. When he confronted the females
about stealing his property, they told him if he made a fuss about it they would
tell the police that he had attempted to rape them. The officers then conducted
an area check for these females, located them, and found them in possession
of a Nokia cellular telephone with its battery charger. No Walkman cassette
player was recovered during this search. When asked about the stolen property,
the women (who were sisters) admitted they had stolen it, but explained that
when they went to the man’s motel room he had pulled a butter knife on them
and demanded sex. Officer Douglas Carlson then went back to the man in the motel
and arrested him on sex offense charges. At the police station, the man claimed
he never made any sexual demands from either female — he just felt sorry for
them, that’s all. As there was no credible evidence that the sisters were sexually
assaulted, and the only property that was stolen was a cellular telephone (the
officers later found a Walkman cassette player on the dresser that contained
the man’s underwear), no one was booked into King County Jail.

Gunshot Wound/West Seattle/Wed April 26/11:00 pm: A man walked into
the Family Medical Clinic at Providence Hospital and said he accidentally shot
himself with his .40 caliber Israeli “Baby Eagle” semi-automatic handgun. This
was his story: He was sitting on the living-room floor of his house, handling
and cleaning his gun. Also present at this time was a woman he’d met a week
earlier, as well as his male housemate. They were all drinking beer socially.
The West Seattle man believed he had two or three beers, but was not under the
influence. Suddenly, while checking the chamber for a round, the gun discharged.
The bullet grazed his neck on the left side, burned his right eye, went through
the east wall of the living room, exited his house, and hit another house across
the street. When the police went to his home to verify his story, they found
“the scene generally consistent with the description of the incident.”