West Seattle/Sun Sept 12/4:35 am

Officer Douglas Jorgensen reports: “I was dispatched to an armed robbery of a convenience store located at Admiral Way in the city of Seattle. Upon arrival, I contacted the victim inside of the store. The victim was the only one on duty at the time. He stated that he was behind the counter when three W/Ms wearing ski masks came into the store. Suspect one had a black revolver and pointed it at him… [and] told the clerk to give him the money. The victim opened the till for suspect one and gave him its contents. Suspect one then took the wallet from victim’s back pocket, several packs of Swisher Sweets cigars, and some cigarettes. All three suspects then fled out the front door and northbound on 44th Avenue Southwest. All three suspects were wearing ski masks and possibly gloves.”

The garment called a “ski mask” is in desperate need of a name change. For reasons that are obvious to everyone in the English-speaking world, the thing should be called a “robbery mask.” Whenever you see a man of any color wearing a ski mask, you do not think “skier,” you think “armed and dangerous thief.”

Aurora/Thurs Sept 9/11:04 pm Officer Richard Bonesteel reports: “While conducting law enforcement in the city of Seattle in a marked patrol vehicle and in full uniform with my partner, Officer Elias, I was dispatched to Aurora Avenue for an armed robbery. Upon arrival, I met with the victim. The victim gave us the following statement: An unknown white male wearing a light-green hooded jacket and blue jeans entered and grabbed two 12-packs of Rainier Beer, and exited the gas station. The clerk left the store and confronted the suspect. The suspect pulled a knife on the victim. The victim backed away and the suspect started to run and dropped the knife. An immediate search of the area led to negative results. I was able to get a video of the incident and a still shot of the suspect. I entered the video, the knife, and a found can of Rainier beer into evidence.”

Some people are conducting pleasure in the city of Seattle; others are conducting dreams or fantasies or an ether of information. Officer Bonesteel (what a surname) is proud to be “conducting law enforcement” in the beautiful city by the bay.

Charles Mudede—who writes about film, books, music, and his life in Rhodesia, Zimbabwe, the USA, and the UK for The Stranger—was born near a steel plant in Kwe Kwe, Zimbabwe. He has no memory...

9 replies on “Police Beat”

  1. This right here:

    “The garment called a “ski mask” is in desperate need of a name change. For reasons that are obvious to everyone in the English-speaking world, the thing should be called a “robbery mask.” Whenever you see a man of any color wearing a ski mask, you do not think “skier,” you think “armed and dangerous thief.”‘

    …is the funniest thing I’ve heard in a coons age.

  2. The manufacturers of ski masks generally use the foreign word Balaclava to avoid putting off a potential customer with a negative association … or it may be that it’s used because it’s more fun to say. Either way, my face would be sandpaper without them.

  5. Speaking of crime Charles & Dominic, I came across this horror from the Chicago Tribune:

    2nd brother shot dead this month within blocks of home
    October 1, 2010 6:25 AM | No Comments | UPDATED STORY
    Street violence struck a Chatham family for a second time this month when an 18-year-old man was fatally shot, just weeks after his younger brother was gunned down in the same area, police said.
    Jajuan Brooks had gone out for pizza when he was shot in the chest and leg around 6:35 p.m. at East 79th Street and Cottage Grove Avenue, police and family said. He was taken to Advocate Christ Medical Center in Oak Lawn, where he died.
    Brooks was shot not far from where his brother was gunned down earlier this month, said Gresham District Capt. Ruth Wedster.
    Jeremy Brooks, 17, was shot several times by one of two people who confronted him about 2:15 p.m. on Sept. 2, police said. He stumbled behind a church near 78th and Cottage Grove and collapsed.
    “They’re not the kids who hung out on the street,” their uncle, Michael Tribett, said in a telephone interview Thursday night. “They spent all their time together. They waited on their mother because she’s a senior citizen.”
    The brothers’ mother, Sheree Tribett, could be heard crying, grieving over the family’s latest tragedy. Michael Tribett said another of her son’s had just arrived home from work and was being told of the slaying.
    Tribett said a turf war has taken hold of the neighborhood, but his nephew stayed in the house all the time unless he was running errands for his mother. The brothers were the third and fourth of eight siblings.
    When the 17-year-old was killed, police said the shooting may have been gang-related and that he might have been the younger relative of a top gang member. Police said then they feared a retaliation shooting could take place.
    –Serena Maria Daniels, Caroline Kyungae Smith and Liam Ford

    This was shocking by any standard. The mother lost two of her sons to gun violence within one month! Imagine being this parent.

  8. Hey Mudede
    Do you think these robbers would be good members of whatever Marxist utopia you believe in?

    Too bad the victim didn’t have a Glock and a permit, or at least a machete.

    I’m surprised there isn’t a fucking police brutality protest being planned over this.

  9. The rest of the English speaking world refers to it as a “balaclava”, and is generally thought to be in the hat family, as opposed to the mask family.

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