The pub crawl—or at least five out of the 11 bars, which was all I was man enough to make it to last night—was mobbed. As the doorman at C.C.Attle’s succinctly put it, “Yeah, everybody’s out tonight. They’re like, ‘FUCK YOU, RICIN MAN!'” Most crawlers did not estimate the threat to their lives to be a serious one. “I think it’s bullshit,” said C.C.Attle’s patron John Zima (“like the drink—they discontinued it, so hopefully people will forget soon”).

The defense of the lifestyle was adamant: “Nothing scares us,” said a gentleman named Francisco at the Madison Pub. “We’re gonna go out and spend our money and get drunk!”

The doorperson at the Wild Rose, asked for thoughts on the threat, said curtly, “It’s a full moon and a lot of people. That’s what I think.” (There was no line at the time.) A patron named Megan (beautiful in her eyeglasses) was more forthcoming, expressing serious concern about homophobia in general but, again, assessing the actual risk to personal safety as minimal. “I think you’re more at risk from your drunk friends”—one of whom was play-punching her—“than you are from any situation at the bar.”

Purr and the Cuff both had many signs posted about not leaving drinks unattended. Purr’s read “For your safety, we will pull all drinks that are left alone.” (A left-alone drink sounds so sad. Don’t do it, people!) At the Cuff, a handsome older fellow in leather chaps said thoughtfully, “I think it’s good to be safe, but I don’t think he’d send an invitation [like this]. It seems silly for him to try it when everyone’s expecting it.” The Cuff’s signage urged you to have a friend watch your drink or to just finish it (sound advice). Another, more permanent sign warned of “CHICKEN X-ING.”

Everywhere, people danced and embraced and made out with abandon. Everywhere, everyone planned to be back out at the bars tonight, in defiance of the demented, would-be ricin poisoner’s claim in his letters to the 11 bars that he would strike on a Saturday night in January.

At the end of the night, Kevin York of Pizza Fusion—which gave out free pizza to bar crawlers all evening, no proof-of-gayness required—said they’d had their busiest night since they opened a few months back.

17 replies on “Ricin: The Pub Crawl”

  6. “If the country responded to 9/11 like this we probably wouldn’t be In a depression right now.”

    Yeah we all should have BOUGHT MORE FORDS and spent more non-disposable income, right? Fucking retards, I don’t see how spending wads on credit and trillions of dollars of toxic default swaps, let alone the current trillions of dollars of Fed bailouts going on behind out backs would not have happened.

  8. #3 – if you were in New York on 9/11 you would know this is EXACTLY how we responded. I could have gotten my mail at the bar I was there so much instead of being at home. I will fondly remember those fellow drinking souls I spent weeks and months with after that day. I guess its good to know a good unifier during terror will always be liquor!

  11. @8

    I should have said rural America. sorry, I knew how many NYC’ers bonded around
    booze. I respect the way those people handled it.

    @5 yup, and much of this country acted like a bunch of scared little pussies after it happened. Little old ladies in eastern washington were sending out emails on being careful because “terrorists could strike here next!” Yes this country, and esp NYC and DC got a pop in the mouth, but the places that actually got attacked handled better than the people that were never threatened.

    @6 not sure what combination of meds (or lack thereof) made you make the jump from a community joining together to say “fuck off” to ignorance to buying a ford. So go take a bath and get back in your hole. I can smell your anon hippie B.O. through the tubes.

  15. @11

    “@6 not sure what combination of meds (or lack thereof) made you make the jump from a community joining together to say “fuck off” to ignorance to buying a ford. So go take a bath and get back in your hole. I can smell your anon hippie B.O. through the tubes.”

    Hardly a hippie, a die-hard cynic that says that no amount of community strength would have prevented lenders, investment firms, the SEC, any and all oversight agencies in government, congress, and the like from fucking us over.

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