This is your regular reminder that you do not live in Florida!! Hell yeah! Doesn’t it feel good, not living in Florida? Whatever life decisions you’ve made, whatever regrets you have, you’re doing fantastic, at least compared to the millions of people in the opposite corner of the United States. “All of Florida is under a state of emergency” as they brace for Hurricane Dorian.
Also, the other thing about Florida? The water off the coast is disgustingly warm, as I learned on a recent trip to Miami. You’d think warm ocean water would be nice, right? Like a bathtub? Like Hawaii? Relaxing? No, it’s not like that at all. It’s like swimming in sweat. Or urine. It squicked me out. Be thankful for Seattle’s cold, refreshing bodies of water on warm summer days.
A graveyard for bikeshares discovered in Ballard. The state’s former secretary of transportation says he found some 200 bikes “in a parking lot behind an old warehouse along 8th Avenue” and he’s trying to figure out what the hell they’re doing there.
Who starved these South Seattle dogs? The Humane Society is offering a $5,000 reward for information about what happened to three dogs who were found emaciated and dehydrated. “We are hopeful this reward will bring forward anyone with information about this heinous act of cruelty,” an official said.
Speaking of Dogs Surviving the Unimaginable: Meet Niko, from Vancouver, Washington, who survived for 30 days in the wilderness after being hit by a car.
Labor Day weekend traffic is going to be nuts. I-5 is expected “to be bad between 10 a.m. and 5 p.m. just about every day and in both directions,” KOMO reports, and WSDOT expects “500,000 travelers” to take a ferry between now and Tuesday (which is “enough to fill Husky Stadium seven times,” officials say).
Amazon has been selling some unsafe products. Now three US senators “are pushing Amazon to remove unsafe products from its online store, spurred by a Wall Street Journal investigation that found that more than 4,000 products on the site were mislabeled, declared unsafe or banned by regulators.”
Trump’s personal assistant is out: Did you even know this clown had a personal assistant? Can you imagine having that job? “President Donald Trump’s personal assistant, who’s been with him since the start of his administration, has abruptly left the White House after sharing intimate details about the president’s family with reporters.” How big a happy dance do you think she’s doing today?
Billions actor pulls a man off subway tracks in NYC. Melissa Errico ended up with blood all over herself after helping a drunk man not get killed after he fell on the tracks. CNN reports that she shrugged off being called a hero by saying, “Who better to save a life than a mom?”
In “fashion” “news”: Big toes are in. And by in, I mean out. Behold the hideousness:
‘Big-toe’ heels are the new ugly shoe trend that’s selling out https://t.co/gdNYOGReS2 pic.twitter.com/vfaLb4VE21
— New York Post (@nypost) August 29, 2019
Meanwhile, in Hong Kong: Several high-profile pro-democracy leaders were just arrested.
PAX West starts today! Do you realize how many cosplayers are suiting up right now? How many panelists are planning their talks? How many gamers are getting their fingers ready? “Indie highlights this year include Wytchwood, where you play a witch gathering ingredients for spells; Epic Tavern, a sort of tavern simulator in which you run a quest hub for adventurers; and Boomerang Fu, a literal food fight in which meals pelt each other with boomerangs,” writes Matt Baume in his piece about this weekend’s gaming-culture festival.
Tyler, the Creator is performing at Bumbershoot tonight. “After becoming a pop-culture sensation as a teen, and after nearly a decade of trolling the world at large, the California rapper has blossomed into his maturity and seems to be embracing the role of a serious artist. It’s a major flex,” Jasmyne Keimig writes.
The rest of our guide to Bumbershoot… is here.
