Statehouse of secrecy. Credit: GETTY IMAGES
Statehouse of secrecy.
Statehouse of secrecy. GETTY IMAGES

The Legislature never does anything that fast: This bill was fast-fast-tracked. It was planned behind closed doors for weeks before it was put before other Legislative staff, other lawmakers, and the public. People who worked within the Legislature were taken aback. The House and the Senate approved the bill within minutes of each other. The timing is also crucial. The legislative session ends next week. There was no floor debate, no room for public comment, and the bill had crazy bipartisan support. Gov. Inslee has until today to veto the bill. All of this makes me, and should make you, wonder: What are they hiding?

Let’s talk about the Public Records Act bill: What’s happening in the Washington legislature right now is nuts. It’s downright bonkers. In case you’ve been hearing about it but you’re too afraid to ask what the deal is read this breakdown by The Seattle Times.

Sherman Alexie responds to rumors: The writer and filmmaker issued a response to rumors of allegations against him. “I have no recollection of physically or verbally threatening anybody or their careers,” Alexie said. Read his full response.

Seattle School Board rejects arming teachers: It supports sensible gun laws like raising the purchasing age of assault rifles to 21. But, the School Board said a big “no thanks” to arming teachers. Members plan to participate in the local March For Our Lives march this month.

Kroger joins 21 club: The nation’s biggest grocery chain will no longer sell guns to people under 21. It joins Dick’s Sporting Goods and Walmart in taking the reins on sensible gun control. That’s a sentence I never thought I’d write.

Bill reducing car tabs passes the House: While we were sleeping, the House voted to slash car tab taxes. As KING5 says in their videos that won’t stop autoplaying, it’s a win for everyone who “has had to pay Sound Transit taxes.” Which is an annoying sentiment because voters voted for Sound Transit 3. It was passed with overwhelming support. Transit is good. But, people are upset about their car tabs. The bill recalculates car tab taxes to alleviate costs. It also would be a massive financial hit to Sound Transit. The bill moves to the Senate now.

Garfield High School’s own Wolf of Wall Street: A guidance counselor at GHS was running a sketchy finance business on the side. Ray Willis was wheelin’ and dealin’ in fraudulent stocks without having a license. State investigators reviewed the case for seven months and found that Willis’ side hustle didn’t impact his work with students. They dropped the case. However, people at GHS are confused. A lot of the investors Willis screwed over were people he had met through the high school. He’s been fined $37,000 by state regulators but is still employed as a counselor.

Will school threats become a felony in Oregon? Sen. Tim Knopp thinks felony charges for threats will deter more potential school shooters. Currently, threats are considered misdemeanors. Within nine days of the Feb. 14 school shooting in Parkland, FL there were four investigations of school violence threats in Bend, OR, Knopps jurisdiction.

Is anyone surprised? Infowars’ Alex Jones has been accused of sexual harassment, racism, and anti-semitism by two former employees. The anti-government conspiracy theorist regularly spouts hate and vitriol. One of his strongest held beliefs is that the government is encouraging the spread of homosexuality through a chemical warfare operation. So, I mean, there were signs he was already garbage. I wonder how he’ll handle the accusations since he’s spent the last week getting dunked on by teenagers on the Internet. You know, after he accused the Parkland shooting survivors of being crisis actors in a false flag operation. Oh, Alex.

Footage from last night’s game: But also, metaphorically, Alex Jones going up against teens online.

China gets ban happy: The letter “N,” Orwell’s “Animal Farm” and “1984,” and Winnie the Pooh are all regular contraband now. These harbingers of revolution have been mitigated in the wake of President Xi Jingping’s bid to be ruler for life. The Orwell books are self-explanatory. We all went to ninth grade. But, the letter “N” is confusing. Speculation says it’s a subversive letter and could be used to dissent mathematically: “N > 2, with “N” being the number of Xi’s terms in office,” according to The New York Times. Winnie the Pooh was banned because apparently Xi is often compared to the bear.

Mentioned yesterday: That weird AR-15 marriage rededication ceremony happened. It’s everything you didn’t know you wanted to see.

Putin is flexing: Not in the shirtless horseback riding way. Russia apparently has a nuclear-powered missile that can’t be intercepted. He sprinkled in how it could overcome the U.S. defense system and result in all of our fiery deaths while talking about Russian highway infrastructure and health care.

You think your life is hard: Look at what this poor college student was subjected to.

Blabbermouth Podcast: Why Don’t Young Americans Vote? Listen now!

Paul Allen pours millions into AI: Local Seattle billionaire Paul Allen wants to develop “common sense artificial intelligence.” Over the next three years he will spend $125 million into Project Alexandria. The Project emphasizes machine learning and reasoning. Paul wants humanity be overthrown by computers. I know it. Also, side note, but I feel bad for all the women out there with “A” names. Alexas and Alexandrias of the world, I’m sorry. There will be more of you.

Update from my alley:

Do you ever wonder how archaeologists felt when they stumbled across religious effigies? Statues or structures constructed by an unknown civilization to honor someone or something? Earlier this week, I happened upon what I can only assume was a modern-day version of this.

There was a pile of garbage. It was mostly compost. It was smack dab in the middle of the alley. It was too far from an apartment building’s dumpster to have originated there and the residential trash cans were leagues away. This was placed here. An offering.

It was the first day of sun in awhile. We were starved for it. The rays shown down on the pile. Illuminated it. I saw shreds of eggplant, empty water bottles, and, scattered from the epicenter, a humongous empty jar of tomato sauce. The insides painted red with the remnants.

It was quite the stage for what was a mound of garbage. A festering pile of debris and decay. Yet, the sun made the purple skin of the eggplant sparkle. It made the wetness of shorn potato skins glisten. Everything is subjective, I suppose. But, maybe, it was always garbage and will always be garbage, no matter how it’s displayed.

Similarly: Reverend Billy Graham was laid to rest today

The best Seattle entertainment options to kick off March include: the Pioneer Square Art Walk, the first day of Emerald City Comic Con, and the Girl Scout Cookies & Cocktails event.

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Nathalie Graham covers anything she finds fun, weird, or interesting. You can find a lot of that in her column, Play Date. Her work has also appeared around town in The Seattle Times, GeekWire, and the...