Where's the "No girls allowed" sign? Credit: STEPHEN BRASHEAR/ Getty Images
Wheres the No girls allowed sign?
Where’s the “No girls allowed” sign? STEPHEN BRASHEAR/ Getty Images

Male-dominated Microsoft: Pool the workforces of the five biggest tech companies together, and less than one-third is female. Microsoft is the most male of the bunch. Widespread sexism and a culture that caters to men has led to an abysmal female employee retainment rate. “In 2016, Microsoft’s U.S. workforce was 24.5 percent female,” the Seattle Times reports. The full report is worth a read.

Paul Allen found another old boat: Allen has a lot of eclectic interests (did you know he collects costumes from movies?) and one of them is unearthing sunken vessels from World War II. Allen has found seven ships in the past year. With this most recent discovery of the USS Helena off the coast of the Solomon Islands, he’s found eight. Way to go, Paul! Tell Microsoft to stop being sexist.

Tacoma residents helped shut down Backpage: The classified ads website was shut down by the FBI last week. Many saw it as a “sleazy sex site,” and it was accused of scrubbing ads for underage sex and trafficking minors. However, for all its missteps, Backpage was still the only place a sex worker could stay safe. The Tacoma women who helped shut down Backpage with a lawsuit are celebrating the end to a site that participated in sex trafficking. Meanwhile, sex workers are mourning the loss of their source of stable, safe income.

Disgraced doctor sues Seattle Times for defamation: Also libel. The Times published several articles about Johnny B. Delashaw Jr. and concerns surrounding his practice as a doctor at Swedish Health. He resigned three weeks after the coverage, and the state suspended his medical license. The suit seeks to reverse the suspension.

Tacoma-born billionaire missing in the Alps: Karl-Erivan Haub disappeared skiing near the Matterhorn. His family is a staple in Tacoma. They have contributed millions to the Tacoma Art Museum as well as hundreds of pieces of art. They also helped establish UW Tacoma.

“Tent Mansion” built on downtown sidewalk: Melissa Burns and her boyfriend had their homeless encampment cleared. She moved down the block and had a bigger, better encampment built with the help of homeless friends. It has glass french doors and wood pallet walls. The interior has furniture. Burns has made it clear that she intends to keep living this lifestyle, she has no interest in permanent shelter. If she’s asked to move again, she will. But it’ll be just down the block.

Well, shit: I definitely leave my car unlocked and my wallet splayed open on the driver’s seat whenever I pump gas. I should probably stop doing that.

Tut-tut, looks like rain:

Schrodinger’s Syria attack: Trump tweeted that an attack on Syria could come “very soon or not so soon at all!” I don’t know about you, but I’m reassured. The exclamation point at the end really soothes the senses. Trump also asked for a thank you, America. Get on it.

Blabbermouth Podcast: Paul Ryan Ditches Congress, Mark Zuckerberg Explains the Internet.

Washington Republicans aren’t sweating Ryan’s departure: Democrats are confident that Paul Ryan’s exit from politics will spell blue victory during the midterm elections. A “blue wave,” as they call it, is coming. Washington State Republicans don’t think the departure will “hamper” their candidates. Local races are neck and neck, even in traditionally red areas on the Washington map.

Sex claims against Missouri governor could spell impeachment: No Missouri governor has ever been impeached before. Governor Eric Greitens could change that. Sexual misconduct allegations have circled Greitens since before he was elected. A Missouri State House committee has released a report on the matter. In it, his hairdresser alleges that Greitens grabbed and spanked her multiple times. He also invited her to his house once, taped her to exercise equipment and started kissing her stomach. Fellow Republicans are calling on him to resign, but Greitens is refusing. This is all a political witch hunt, he says.

A little throwback Thursday for you:

Speaking of which: The AP has been keeping track of which lawmakers have been accused of sexual misconduct. Check that shit out. Let me know how you feel after.

Holocaust deniers rejoice! A new study found that 31 percent of Americans don’t know what Auschwitz was. Sixty-six percent of millennials don’t know what it was. This is what happens when you cut humanities programs in schools. Happy Holocaust Remembrance Day.

Trump doorman paid $30K to keep quiet: A report by the New Yorker states that the Trump Tower doorman knew that Trump fathered a child with a mistress in the late 1980s. High-level Trump employees, including Trump’s head of security, had told the doorman the story. The National Enquirer paid him $30,000 to keep him quiet. Sound familiar?

Dead sperm whale had 66 pounds of trash in its digestive system: The young sperm whale was found dead off the coast of Spain. Trash bags, netting, ropes, and even a drum were found in its stomach and intestines. It was severely underweight.

Headline of the week:
Argentinian officers fired after claiming mice ate half a ton of missing marijuana. I mean, do we give them the benefit of the doubt here?

An update from my alley:

Hello. Welcome to an alley update section I’m dubbing “Something Happened Here.” I’m going to list items that appeared in my alley. Are they connected? Who knows! I’m going to make up a story anyway. You are welcome to try as well.

A pair of men’s New Balance sneakers, red and gray, worn. A lone slipper. It’s mate far away, blending into the mixture of gravel, dirt, and persistent weeds (no, not that kind). In between the woebegone slippers is a shower caddy, a tube of Vagisil, and some body spray. Crumpled up khakis and a graphic T-shirt. Next to the recycling trash can there are two fleece blankets curled in on each other: one black, one blue. A bag of mostly-empty Cinnamon Toast Crunch sits forlorn, forgotten. Something happened here.

It feels obvious to me. A breakup of some kind. She’d seen his phone. He was cheating. The itch that the Vagisil didn’t seem to cure made sense now. That was no yeast infection. She screamed at him, probably. I’m betting she threw the tube at him. Then she gathered up his things—he was living there most of the time but it wasn’t official—and stomped down the stairs. She threw the sneakers onto the ground one by one, then the slippers. It was raining. Everything was getting soiled, he said.

Oh, is it? She’d rebutted, hands on her hips. She went upstairs and grabbed the blankets he’d brought over, one for him and one for her. She dumped the growler of beer he insisted on brewing (it was his new hobby, he looked it up on WikiHow) on everything. The smell of fermenting yeast wafted toward them. How about now? She asked.

Please, I’m sorry. He was begging.

She opened up the black trash can, tilted his box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch over it, and started shaking its contents. Grow up, Kyle, she said and hurled the remnants at him.

Here, take this for your next girlfriend, she dropped the Vagisil at his feet.

Tonight’s best Seattle entertainment options include: The 54th Annual Theodore Roethke Memorial Poetry Reading with Charles Simic, Laverne Cox’s lecture “Ain’t I a Woman?,” and the beginning of the ByDesign Film Festival.

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Nathalie Graham covers anything she finds fun, weird, or interesting. You can find a lot of that in her column, Play Date. Her work has also appeared around town in The Seattle Times, GeekWire, and the...