Fewer homeless veterans: Whoa, there are 31 percent fewer homeless veterans in King County this year than there were last year. That’s because service providers are getting out into the field and adding homeless veterans to a list. It’s a database that helps connected homeless veterans with support and housing, Crosscut reports. Through the database, providers can identify who needs what and how they can help. The most important thing is connecting these veterans with housing. There are designated housing vouchers for veterans specifically, but the severe lack of affordable housing in the area is a significant barrier.
Unofficial start to Pacific Northwest fire season claims a life: A fire east of Portland in The Dalles swept through 70 acres in barely a day. One person was found dead next to the charred husk of a tractor. A farmer had likely died trying to create a fire break to hold the flames at bay. Dozens of homes have been evacuated. There are already multiple fires across Oregon and the rest of the western United States. Buckle up, it’s fire season. No one buy Elon Musk’s stupid fucking flamethrower.
Prepaid postage means you have no excuse not to vote: I know you’re lazy. I know stamps are expensive. Some might even call them a “barrier.” That barrier, and that excuse, is gone in all of Washington’s 39 counties. King County was the trailblazer and was going to go forward with its own prepaid-postage program no matter what the rest of Washington did. The rest of the state followed suit, albeit reluctantly. The prediction currently is that there will be a 40 percent voter turnout in King County. Whether that’s because of the stamps or the motivating factor of our political hellscape is unclear. What is clear is that you need to vote, motherfucker.
A resolution for the bicyclist in your life: The city council’s transportation committee unanimously passed a resolution that would add protected bike lanes throughout downtown Seattle. The resolution sets firm deadlines to create a schedule for something that’s already been budgeted for, according to Council Member Mike O’Brien. The half-dozen proposed lanes have SDOT sweating; a downtown construction boom is already in the works, and these lanes will add to the clog. Also, SDOT has had trouble keeping bike lane costs down — as recently as May, lane costs had skyrocketed to an unbelievable $12 million a mile.
Blind people “don’t love” bike share: Seattle could soon be doubling the number of bike share bikes on the streets. Blind people, and others with disabilities, are not thrilled. Part of the problem is that people can dump bikes anywhere (including in several bodies of water, atop roofs, and from trees). Usually, they’re placed in ways that obstruct pathways, doorways, bus stops, and crosswalks. They’re a nuisance and a real bruise-causer for blind people. With the expansion, Seattle is considering adding designated bike parking areas.
Inmates are the best audience: The Seattle Symphony recently played a performance for the inmates at the Washington Corrections Center for Women. They were one of the most enthusiastic audiences the symphony has played for. Part of it is that experiencing this performance, this celebration of art and culture, makes the inmates feel human. That’s often a feeling that’s hard to come by for the incarcerated.
Everything is fleeting: The weather was perfect yesterday. I wish we could have that forever. But wanting things is dangerous because life is inherently disappointing and the weather is a fickle mistress. Another heat wave is on the way. I might bite the bullet on that air conditioner after all.
Did you like our recent spell of hot weather? If you did you’re in luck because there is another heat wave on the way. High temperatures climbing back into the 90’s from Seattle southward next Monday and Tuesday ( and maybe Wednesday too ). #wawx pic.twitter.com/JgPqc4tx7I
— NWS Seattle (@NWSSeattle) July 19, 2018
Sean Spicer is on a book tour: Word to the wise, don’t let Sean Spicer promote his book on your show. The Today show is hosting the former White House press secretary this morning. That’s giving him a huge platform to not only recover his image in the limelight but to profit off of that time he lied excessively and blatantly to the American people as the face of the Trump administration. What’s more insane is that he’s utilizing the media, the very entity he and his boss attacked and undermined on a daily basis, for his own success. Don’t buy Spicer’s book.
Life finds a way: And it’s through a giant, sexy Jeff Goldblum statue. Fans of Jurassic Park, and also Mr. Goldblum, will recognize the famous Ian Malcolm pose.
25ft half naked Jeff Goldblum appears in front of Tower Bridge https://t.co/1gB5iZnl1J pic.twitter.com/9RkXi7x9Sk
— Londonist (@Londonist) July 18, 2018
Where does Trump stand on Russian interference? Trump is a liar. We know this. Part of me wishes he was a good liar. Frankly, the lying is embarrassing. Trump chameleons to those around him — when he’s in Russia, in front of Vladimir Putin, there’s no reason he would suspect Russia of meddling in the election. But, back on US soil and facing criticism from the opposition and his own party, Trump meant to say “wouldn’t” instead of “would.” This flip-flopping is occurring across the board; what does Donald Trump actually believe? Does he believe the proof he’s been shown of Putin’s interference? Or, does he think the intelligence community is a bunch of quacks?
There’s a new Blabbermouth podcast! Why Wouldn’t President Trump Be Lying Again? (Plus a Much-Needed Antidote to Prime Day.)
Protester symbolically covers Wall Street Charging Bull with dildos: Then he rode the bull while wearing a Putin mask. It’s a very layered political commentary. High-brow stuff. You might not get it. Hyperlinking the nine minute video in case you have nine minutes to spare.
Neigh means neigh: A man broke into some stables and committed two sex acts with a filly. He told police when he was arrested that the horse winked at him, thus giving him consent. He should read up on what consent looks like.
Man removes genitals because they ruin his aesthetic: The guy has 90 percent of his body tattooed black. Even his eyeballs are tattooed. He naturally has albinism and his nipples, testicles, and penis were getting in the way of the completely black look he was going for. Naturally, he had them removed.
An update from my alley:
Before we begin, I want you to know that all of my alley updates are real. Everything I’ve written about every Thursday since January is the bona fide truth. As you can imagine, I get nervous that nothing notable will happen come Thursday and I’ll have nothing left to write about. Somehow, like a benevolent deity, the alley always delivers.
Yesterday was one of those days. I have no idea what I’m going to write about, I told my friends. The alley will come through, one responded, it always does.
Sure enough. As the sun was dipping below the new high-rises, I walked outside to my car. The passenger side window was shattered.
What did I expect, after all? It had been three years since I drove what was first my grandpa’s car, and then my parent’s car, and then my brother’s car, up from California to Washington. It’s huge. It’s impractical. It’s a forest-green Chevy Tahoe. It has no right to exist on Seattle’s narrow city streets. If anything, it tempts fate.
My windows are clear. You can see the contents inside. There are admittedly one too many old receipts, some reusable grocery bags, and a mini-sized jar of raspberry jam I nabbed from a hotel in April. You can see it all through the windows, it’s all on the table. I have presented my passengers, all passersby, and any potential thieves with everything I have to offer. Why attempt the break-in, aside from need?
I think it’s hope. I don’t know what for — I can’t imagine that kind of drive — but there’s got to be something more to a simple smash-and-grab. Especially when the most valuable thing someone will get is one of my terrible mix tapes. In one of them Earth Wind & Fire’s “September” transitions directly into “Not Ready to Make Nice” by the Dixie Chicks. That’s not exactly a jackpot find. So, I assume, as I brushed glass off the passenger seat, that the motivator is hope. Maybe it’s for some left-behind dollar bills or maybe it’s for the chance, a possibility, of something more.
Regardless, I’m not thrilled that I have to fix my window. At least I had something to write about.
Tonight’s best Seattle entertainment options include: The extremely-popular-on-Facebook Baby Goats and Brews, a show with the doom-grunge demigods the Melvins, and a reading of Porochista Khakpour’s Sick, about a chronically ill woman trying to save her own life.
