"The Christians will never know I stole from their rap community." Credit: Rich Fury/Getty Images
The Christians will never know I stole from their rap community.
“The Christians will never know I stole from their rap community.” Rich Fury/Getty Images

A doozy for renters: Seattle is the most expensive non-Californian city for renters. The median rent here, according to Gene Balk at the Seattle Times, was $1,555 in 2017. That includes the cost of utilities. The only cities that were more expensive to rent in were San Jose, San Francisco, and San Diego. Ready for a bad joke? I guess we should rename Seattle to Saneattle. Okay. Sorry. I’ll go pack up my desk now.

Democratic Debates 2: The Second Ones: Tonight is the first night in the second batch of Democratic presidential debates. If you’re a Jay Inslee diehard don’t waste your time clicking on the YouTube live stream tonight—Inslee won’t be up until Wednesday, where he will hopefully speak for more than four minutes. Tonight’s group will also be interesting to watch if you’re worried about the spirit wars and want to see what Marianne Williamson can do or, maybe, if you want a free college education. Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren have got you covered there. Or maybe you forgot John Hickenlooper was a person (I sure did).

Almost 500 people are fighting this Yakima fire: Teamwork is the only thing that will put out this fire that’s now grown to 2,500 acres. The Left Hand fire in Cliffdell, Yakima County was only 8 percent contained on Monday.

It’s cozy this morning: I love the crisp air flowing through my windows right now. They’re situated in the perfect cross-breeze position. Life is good sometimes. The rest of my brick house is like one huge clay oven. When I walk into the kitchen, no matter what time of the day, I’m smacked in the face by a wall of heat.

Remember last week when those kittens were found on the side of the road? They were all but left for dead! The five newborn kittens are responding well to treatment and are being cared for by foster families where they are experiencing love.

Porch prowler used car share: A Bellevue man is believed to be the guy stealing packages off people’s porches in Bellevue. He would nab the goods and make his getaway in a Lime Pod, a machine known for its speed. The rentable Pods are Fiats that are wrapped in yellow, white, and green advertisements. There were two parked out of the suspect’s home. If that wasn’t enough, he also documented his crimes on an app.

Footage of me trying to get out bed every day: The Elwha Ferry is in need of repairs. Those will happen at the Lake Union Drydock. First, the 73-foot-wide boat had to fit through the 80-foot-wide Ballard Locks.

Barr ruling is bad for asylum seekers: What else is new. Attorney General William P. Barr ruled that immigrants seeking asylum because they were fleeing violence to their family would not be eligible. That’s because, according to Barr, private crime does not necessarily mean that the migrants are members of “a larger social group” that is “socially distinct.” Basically, Barr does not want any non-name brand migrant families. This will impact thousands of asylum cases. Lawyers are expected to challenge the ruling.

Moscow Mitch wants a new nickname: McConnell got his feelings hurt when he was called “a Russian asset” when he blocked election security bills last week. He’s calling that nickname “modern day McCarthyism.”

Katy Perry ripped off a Christian rap song: Her single “Dark Horse” from 2013 had a nearly identical beat and central riff as the 2009 Christian rap song “Joyful Noise.” Perry was sued in 2014. Five years later, a jury reached a unanimous decision that she infringed on the other song’s copyright. I’ve got to know what the hell heck “Joyful Noise” sounds like so I’m going to find it for the both of us:

Russian influencer found dead, stuffed in suitcase: The 24-year-old dermatologist from Moscow was big on Instagram with 85,000 followers. Her parents found her dead in a suitcase in the hallway outside of her apartment. Her throat had been slit. Police said that no struggle had taken place at the scene.

Donald Trump is the least racist person anywhere in the world: Trump told reporters. He also said that Reverend Al Sharpton is a racist. So, uh, I don’t even think we need to fact check any of this.

Dilbert creator tries to profit off Garlic Festival shooting: Scott Adams is best known for creating my eighth-grade history teacher’s favorite comic strip—Dilbert. But now Adams is making headlines for urging survivors of the Gilroy, California shooting to sign up for the app he co-founded and set a price for the interviews they sold to the media. Meanwhile, Adams was going to get 20 percent of the profits. No actual shooting victims signed up but jeez. Stick to drawing drab comics, Scott.

Two New Zealand penguins keep sneaking into a sushi food truck: They have been detained.

16-year-old Pennsylvania boy wins Fortnite World Cup: The gaming tournament was the first of its kind. Kyle Giersdorf won $3 million. That’s more than Tiger Woods won for winning the Masters.

Tonight’s best Seattle entertainment options include: A chance to escape into a summer thriller at a reading with Kevin O’Brien, a show with the Psychedelic Furs, and another night of the Seattle Festival of Dance Improvisation.

Nathalie Graham covers anything she finds fun, weird, or interesting. You can find a lot of that in her column, Play Date. Her work has also appeared around town in The Seattle Times, GeekWire, and the...