What's up(zone) with that? Credit: SANDIEGOA/GETTY
Whats up(zone) with that?
What’s up(zone) with that? SANDIEGOA/GETTY

Battle for the upzone reaches standstill: It’s a war being waged behind closed doors. Officials are trying to secure a plan to upzone—or allow denser buildings—in 27 neighborhoods. The plan, part of Mandatory Housing Affordability policy, would mandate that each new building has a number of affordable units as well. Or that each developer will have to pay a certain amount to provide those affordable options. This all sounds great but the discussions went nowhere and everyone is twiddling their thumbs while they wait for an environmental review to come back.

Asia Argento silenced her own accuser with money: Argento, an Italian actress, outspoken figure for #MeToo, and one of Harvey Weinstein’s accusers, allegedly paid to keep an accuser of her own quiet. Documents sent to the New York Times through an encrypted email proved that Argento had paid Jimmy Bennett, an at-the-time 17-year-old and former child star, a sum of $380,000 to stay quiet. Neither Argento nor Bennet has returned comment.

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Every breath we take will kill us just a little bit: Until this smoke clears on Wednesday evening. I don’t know if you saw yesterday’s straight up apocalypse but I was downtown and couldn’t see West Seattle from Belltown. I know it’s because of wildfires in B.C. and the ones raging in eastern Washington, but Hempfest was pretty close by and I don’t think we should rule that out as an option here.

Don’t do your chores today: According to some doctors KING5 talked to, vacuuming should be avoided during smoky days. It kicks up particles and recirculates them into the air. Don’t vacuum today. Fuck it, don’t do anything today. Growing up, the only time my school ever got canceled was for fire. We should take a page out of Southern California’s book today and cancel any and all obligations. For health, of course. Safety, too.

The hottest new app for your phone is just refreshing the Air Now website: How is the air now, Air Now??

This seems like a risk:

J50’s vet bill: The ailing orca is on its last legs—er, flippers?—due to malnutrition and weight loss. Researchers have figured out that she has a parasite. In addition to the antibiotics she already received, J50 will now be getting a de-wormer. She’s like a stray dog you can’t help but fall in love with.

Bike lanes are good… probably: With a push by the Seattle City Council to improve the city’s bike-lane network, everyone is looking to the bike counters set up on a select few bike routes to measure data. The results? Inconclusive. Experts say it’s impossible to look at each bike lane’s results separately, you need to look at all of the bike lanes as a system. If we want to count bikes right, we should look to Canada. They do everything better, including their thorough system of counting bikes.

Cars won’t be allowed on 3rd Avenue: Driving downtown just got a little bit harder. Starting today and for the foreseeable future, 3rd Ave will be car-free for 13 hours. The street already had car restrictions in order to give buses precedence. This fast-tracking transit plan is great and bus riders should rejoice!

Hope your commute doesn’t look like this today:

White House counsel cooperates with Mueller, Trump’s team scrambles: What does Mueller know is the question on everybody’s lips. Especially if those people are in the White House and are Donald Trump’s legal team. Donald McGahn, the White House counsel, has been cooperating with the Russian investigation. McGahn has made it clear he doesn’t defend Donald Trump but defends the presidency. Trump’s legal team doesn’t know what McGahn has told Mueller in the nearly 30 hours of interviews conducted since November.

Meanwhile, Michael Cohen is being investigated for bank fraud: Trump’s former lawyer is knee deep in all kinds of shit. Most recently, Cohen’s over $20 million in loans from a taxi company he and his family run is drawing scrutiny. Investigators are looking into whether “Mr. Cohen misrepresented the value of his assets to obtain the loans,” reports the New York Times.

Simone Biles is at it again: The Olympic gymnast won every single gold medal at the U.S. Championships. This makes her the first woman to win five US Women Gymnastics Championships all-around titles. Take a little look-see at this bullshit:

South Koreans travel to North Korea to reunite with long lost relatives: All were elderly. Most hadn’t seen or heard word from their family since the Korean War 68 years ago. Over 57,000 people wanted to take part in the reunions. Only 93 families were selected.

Ted Cruz’s opposition for Texas senate seat shreds in a Whataburger parking lot: Your move, Teddy.

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Nathalie Graham covers anything she finds fun, weird, or interesting. You can find a lot of that in her column, Play Date. Her work has also appeared around town in The Seattle Times, GeekWire, and the...