Stop driving in the bus lane, you absolute cock. Credit: KatarzynaBialasiewicz/Getty Images
Stop driving in the bus lane, you absolute cock.
Stop driving in the bus lane, you absolute cock. KatarzynaBialasiewicz/Getty Images

Washington’s infrastructure earns a C: As a whole, our state’s infrastructure is subpar. The American Society of Civil Engineers gave us the remarkably average report card Wednesday. The worst aspect of our infrastructure is stormwater which earned a D+. That’s the same as the national average! So, at least we have that.

Tell the fucks over at MyNorthwest that I want to fight: I am livid. Todd Herman wrote this stupid thing about how he’s mad that Councilmember Mike O’Brien doesn’t like people who drive in bus-only lanes. Herman goes on to say that he always drives in bus-only lanes, that he feels it is his right to drive in bus-only lanes, and that he’s going to do that ’til he keels over and dies. Todd! You are what’s wrong with the world! I would love, love (imagine I am clenching and gritting my teeth in emphasis here) to rip him to shreds. No, not with my noodley arms but with words! I don’t have the space. Anyway, I emailed him asking if he’s ever ridden a bus. If you’re not peeved then you obviously haven’t seen Dori Monson’s traffic solution—getting rid of immigrants!

A cab-jacking near Northgate: Shots were fired and a Yellow Cab was reported stolen. Police chased the car, it started going the wrong way on I-5 and police stopped chasing. Eventually, the suspect crashed at the southbound HOV lanes in Northgate.

The Coast Guard is the only branch of the U.S. Armed Forces working without pay: The Coast Guard is a part of the Department of Homeland Security. The rest of the U.S. Armed Forces are a part of the Department of Defense, which is still funded during the government shutdown. Many Coast Guardsmen are looking for second jobs.

Bill Gates grabbed some Dick’s the other night: The Dick’s on 45th in Wallingford is my local Dick’s too, Bill!

Seattle City Council wants to reduce single-occupancy vehicles in the city: That’s because they cause so much traffic, Todd. Developers of new apartment and commercial buildings of a certain size (at least 30 units for the former, at least 4,000 square feet for the latter) must provide alternatives to driving. That, and they have to disincentive it by offering fewer parking spots. The ordinance was passed by the Seattle City Council 8-0 on Monday.

ISIS attack in Syria kills 4 Americans: This attacks comes just weeks after Trump declared ISIS a neutralized threat.

Peter Thiel might be onto something: A new start-up called Ambrosia is letting old people fill their veins with young blood. You want a liter? Cool, $8,000 please. Two liters? That’ll be $12,000. The idea—that is completely unsubstantiated—is that young blood will rejuvenate organs. It’s the Fountain of Youth! Peter Thiel thinks so at least. Oh, and just so we’re clear, the guy that founded Ambrosia is 100 percent not a doctor.

Someone made a very realistic, very fake Washington Post: Activists were handing them out in D.C. Probably not a great case for the whole “fake news” thing.

Does being a client for Trump’s business help shape public policy? The Washington Post is investigating the nature of Trump’s business interactions. They’re using T-Mobile, and its merger with Sprint last summer, as a case study. Some shady stuff.

Bombs away!

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Nathalie Graham covers anything she finds fun, weird, or interesting. You can find a lot of that in her column, Play Date. Her work has also appeared around town in The Seattle Times, GeekWire, and the...