The world's most dangerous baby, baby! Credit: CHRIS J RATCLIFFE / GETTY IMAGES
The worlds most dangerous baby, baby!
The world’s most dangerous baby, baby! CHRIS J RATCLIFFE / GETTY IMAGES

VAPING, baby! Trump should try it.

Slog PM is brought to you by this bag of dicks, baby! Lovers brought a dick basket to Stranger World Headquarters today and gave us all free dildos. I would say that’s weird but Dan Savage is our boss. I got the King Cock dildo because all the other dicks were snatched. It’s very realistic.

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Nathalie Graham

Felicity Huffman will be thrown in the slammer, baby! For… wait for it… 14 days. The judge was even nice about it, promising: “You can rebuild your life after this. You’ve paid your dues.” (“Listen, George Zimmerman didn’t even get prison time,” Stranger staffer Jasmyne Keimig was heard whispering in a corner.)

Whole Foods Amazon cuts health care benefits for its part-time employees, baby! Whole Foods employees who work fewer than 30 hours a week will no longer receive health care benefits from their employer. Whole Foods “pledged to help employees find alternative coverage options,” reports The Seattle Times. People are pissed: “They already took our profit sharing. Now they’re coming for our health care.”

We’re not done talking about last night’s debate, baby! Democratic presidential candidates criticized last night’s debate for not including any questions on abortion or reproductive rights. “The candidates don’t actually need to be asked a question about abortion in order to talk about abortion,” writes Jezebel. “They can just talk about it. It’s a really common medical procedure.”

Vice ordered so much weed for a Lil Yachty video that they qualified as a marijuana distributor, baby! The story is funny. Good thing no one caught our record-breaking mega-order of CBD knee cream for Jim Pugel and Charles Mudede.

Remember the deadly 2017 Amtrak derailment near DuPont, baby?! Today, a jury awarded three plaintiffs nearly $17 million for their pain and suffering.

The rabid bats are back, baby! Two German Shepard puppies in Longville had to be euthanized after coming into contact with them. These are believed to be the first bats to test positive for rabies in Cowlitz County in almost a decade.

We heard reports earlier today that half-naked men were slinging coffee on Broadway, baby! And the rumors are true. Dreamboyz Espresso has replaced Ladybug Espresso. R.I.P. Ladybug (and Barista Boyz).

His teeth were falling out, baby! But Biden announced today that he will release his medical records before the first votes are cast for the Democratic presidential nomination. His health has been called into question after his eye started bleeding and teeth ALLEGEDLY fell out during two separate debates. Hopefully he doesn’t go to Trump’s doctor.

All our data suggests: That you love it when we say baby, baby!

What the hell is happening to that baby, baby?! And is it time to give in and download the TickTock?

Okay, one more kid video, baby! Watch til the end. It’s worth it.

Just kidding, one more kid video, baby! This one’s from Greta Thunberg, an activist who may be under 18 but could certainly lead our country better than Trump. She was outside the White House protesting today but wouldn’t go inside, saying, “I don’t want to meet with people who don’t accept the science,” reports NPR.

Ivanka Trump says she got her moral compass from her dad, baby! She should give it back because he desperately needs one.

What if her moral compass-less daddy won’t step down, baby?! Slate has a great piece on what will happen when Trump inevitably declines to ever leave the Oval Office.

Relax and tour the Seattle Art Museum with Barbara Earl Thomas, baby! She talks about Georges de La Tour and how light can be the subject of a painting.

Stranger‘s Jasmyne Keimig gave a My Favorite Things tour earlier this year, baby! And featured Nick Cave, a farming animal headdress, and:

Augusta Savage, a Black sculptor who was hugely influential during the Harlem Renaissance in the 1920s and was the first director of the Harlem Community Art Center. She taught and mentored a lot of important Black artist like Jacob Lawrence, Gwendolyn Knight, and Norman Lewis, showing at the 1939 New York World’s Fair. We’ve lost a lot of her work to time and/or destruction but SAM has a bust that we’ll congregate around tonight:

Chase Burns is The Stranger's former editor. He's covered everything from gay luchadores to chemical weapons to Isabella Rossellini's favorite pets.