If the team isn't called the Seattle Freeze we riot. Credit: skynesher/Getty Images
If the team isnt called the Seattle Freeze we riot.
If the team isn’t called the Seattle Freeze we riot. skynesher/Getty Images

‘Nothing but positive vibes’ for NHL Seattle expansion: The National Hockey League’s executive committee voted unanimously to forward Seattle’s expansion bid. A full board of governors will vote in December. The NHL expansion is not entirely predicated on the KeyArena renovation, but it definitely plays a part. Currently, the new KeyArena is slated to open in October of 2020, right before the NHL season that year. A delay may throw a wrench in these plans.

The New York Times wrote this thing about Seattle neighborhoods: There’s this whole national study about children, the neighborhoods they grew up in, and how much money they earn in their adult lives. The New York Times wrote about it and used Seattle as one of their case studies. Apparently, how and where you grow up are important predictors of success. Poor children in north Seattle, east of the Northgate Mall, for example, are bound to be successful and escape poverty, they found. There’s a graphic that shows predictions of income by neighborhood.

Get your flu shots or else, says the CDC: Well, sort of. They didn’t say “or else,” but it was an implied “or else.” Although, the answer to “or else” is “or you’ll get the flu.” Anyway. Enough of that. The Centers for Disease Control wants you to get your flu shot by the end of October. Flu cases are on the rise typically during Thanksgiving and the holiday season. Nip that shit in the bud.

Stand up paddle board yoga blew this guy’s disability fraud wide open: This guy worked for BNSF railroad and collected disability from them for 23 years. He stopped working due to a medical condition, he claimed. Despite these claims, the man still ran a charter sailboat business and captained the ship. He also appeared on tv doing standup paddleboard yoga. He was found out. He has to pay back all of the $177,369 he got in disability money as well as “$177,369 as a civil penalty for violating the False Claims Act.” He’s also going to prison. Crime, and yoga, don’t pay.

Western State Hospital nurse attacked, ear partially bitten off: At the largest psychiatric hospital in the state a 63-year-old nurse was attacked by a 29-year-old patient on Tuesday. He knocked her to the floor, choked her, and bit off part of her earlobe.

State Trooper in Tacoma rammed headfirst into wrong-way driver, has no regrets: It was the only way to stop the suspect driving a stolen truck the wrong way on Highway 16, said State Trooper Bryce Schramm. The crash happened on Sunday.

Peak Florida:

In-flight gains not recommended: An American Airlines flight from Phoenix to Boston on Monday had to be diverted because of an asshole passenger. The guy had not one but two dogs, was belligerently drunk, and started doing pull-ups using the overhead compartments. He refused to sit down. The flight was diverted to Kansas City.

Torrenting is back in style because there are too many Netflix competitors: BitTorrent usage tumbled for years. It’s bouncing back because there are too many subscription services and there’s too much exclusive content. Consumers whose exes finally changed their HBOGo password or who refuse to pay for Hulu because they’re not going to pay to watch commercials have pivoted to torrenting.

Your phone is going to scream at you tomorrow: The Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) will be blowin’ up your phones with an alert that will be that same eardrum piercing sound that AMBER alerts use. The purpose is to test the National Wireless Emergency System also known as the “presidential alert” system. You can’t opt out of this.

Sometimes people are terrible:

So, a horse walks into a bar…:

The New York Times dug up a letter Brett Kavanaugh sent to his high school buddies: First off, he has terrible handwriting. Second, the letter contains information about the party week he and his friends are going to have at a rented house. In it, he says to “warn the neighbors that we’re loud, obnoxious drunks with prolific pukers among us. Advise them to go about 30 miles…” There are also some sexually suggestive comments.

Oh, dear: Before today Mike Pence thought Washington state was just a convincing myth made up by the West and the liberal agenda.

Headline of the week: Man given bionic penis ‘went into five-day coma a week after having sex for the first time’

Which one of you is faxing us your nudes? Our art director just called out, “is someone printing boobs???” Puzzled, all of us in the editorial department (currently just me and Rich Smith) called back “No, we aren’t printing boobs.” All of the other departments responded in kind. Rich asked what we were all thinking: “What kind of boobs?” “Big, floppy ones” was the response. “From all different angles.” Look, we don’t know who you are, we don’t mind your boobs, but please ask us before you fax us your nudes.

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Nathalie Graham covers anything she finds fun, weird, or interesting. You can find a lot of that in her column, Play Date. Her work has also appeared around town in The Seattle Times, GeekWire, and the...