It’s Not The Entire Administration: US State Department to give equal benefits to diplomats with same sex partners.

And There’s Another Battle For Minnesota’s Senate Seat: This one over legal fees.

Well Nobody’s Perfect: Seattle Fire Department found to have a history of ethics issues.

Anyone Else Hear Ennio Morricone Playing?: Seattle Police shoot man after standoff with child.

Here’s Hoping They Ditched Their Cell Phones At Least: Couple who became accidental millionaires are hiding out in China.

Anyone See A Repeat On Aurora Bridge Happening?: Chinese man pushes jumper off bridge after getting fed up.

Nerds Rejoice As Long As Joe Quesada Stays Far Away: Archie is going to propose in August. And no, not to Jughead.

Do The Religious Right Even Have Enough Outrage Left to Yell About This?: Atheist group launches ad campaign on buses in Chicago.

This Could Go Horribly, Awesomely Wrong: Jim Beam to produce cherry-flavored bourbon.

Holy Crap This Was Cool: Lebron’s last second shot.

Do They Just Want To Kill Radio?: Clear Channel to offer local stations a “Premium Choice” of programming from around the country.

Schools Aren’t Meant To Be Prisons: And this group of British students protest that fact.

Today Bob Dylan Is 68: Here’s he is when he was spry.

11 replies on “The Morning News”

  2. I’m so glad the jumper who got pushed off the bridge landed on a blow up pad and didn’t die because otherwise the fact that I found that story fucking hilarious would make me a sick misanthrope.

  7. Dear British School Children,

    You are brats. The teachers haven’t shackled you to your desks (yet) and they haven’t reinstated flogging (although they should), so stop whining. If you dislike being educated in a prison under the watchful eyes of security guards, stop acting like thick-witted little thugs. You and your parents are responsible for your bad behavior, your actions have consequences. If your overindulgent parents won’t give give your spoilt little hind-quarters a well deserved smack when you run amuck, then other people (such as the police and school administration) will step in for your incompetent, lazy parents and curb your freedom.

  11. Jesus. If I wanted to get drunk on something that tastes like cherry-flavored pain, I’d buy cough syrup.

    Here’s a fun tidbit: it’s easy to mask cyanide in cherry-flavored food and drink, because the poison smells similar to cherry or almond flavoring.

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