First, The Good News: The American economy is gathering steam, adding the largest number of jobs last month in four years.

Profile of a Terrorist: Listen to the emerging portrait of Faisal Shahzad, the man who has allegedly admitted his involvement in the botched car-bomb plot in Times Square, and the evolution of terror tactics and America’s ability to respond, here.

Charged: A felon has been charged with vehicular homicide after he backed over a 91-year-old Seattle woman on Monday.

Loaded and Ready: Pakistan has test-fired two ballistic missiles capable of carrying nuclear warheads and declared themselves “fully capable of safeguarding Pakistan’s security against all kinds of aggression.”

Local Woman Missing: Bellevue Police are looking for a missing 47-year-old woman who has a medical condition that requires daily medication; she has been missing since Thursday.

We All Were Sure We Were Going to Die: The workers on the doomed Deepwater Horizon oil rigโ€” “one of the most sophisticated drilling rigs on the planet”โ€” recall the night of the disaster.

The Gulf Oil Spill Needs Your Hair! Donations of hair, wigs, fur and even nylon stockings are being asked for to absorb the oil in make-shift hair booms and hair mats.

Thank a Social Worker Today: A 17-year-old with a grudge against his former Long Island high school planned with his girlfriend to buy shotguns, enter his old school and indiscriminately shoot down students and teachers, but was thwarted by his social worker.

Lord Jesus Christ, Watch Out! 20-year-old woman has been cited for running down a man named Lord Jesus Christ as he crossed a street in Northampton on Tuesday.

Twilight Mania Reaches a New Level: The most popular baby names in the U.S. right now are Isabella and Jacob, with Edward as the fastest-rising name.

12 replies on “The Morning News”

  1. “Shipp, police said, denied being drunk, instead saying he had taken a 500- milligram Vicodin pill several hours earlier…. Shipp has convictions for first-degree child rape, twice failing to register as a sex offender, assault, motor-vehicle theft, drug possession, vehicle prowling, drunken driving, driving with a suspended license and speeding 28 miles over the posted limit”

    the guy who backed over the old woman. sounds like a quality chap who’s going away for a long time.

  2. Isabella and Jacob have been top baby names for years. It’s much more likely that Stephanie Meyer used those names because they are popular, then that they are popular because she used those names. How odd that the media can’t understand logical causation.

  3. The baby name article reminds me of the time I met a girl named Tennille. Yes, she was born in the mid-70s.

  4. “Both teenagers tried to buy a shotgun but were turned away because neither was 18, so they hatched a plan to return on his June 8 birthday to buy one shotgun, then come back the following day for another. They planned to enter the school and start shooting on June 10, Doherty said.”

    But remember, it’s not guns that kill people…

  5. 2 3, it was Perez Hilton. Interesting that you think one gossip columnist represents all journalist the world over (which is what “the media” means – so much for your implication that YOU understand logical causation yourself).

    BTW, the posting here is incorrect. It’s not Edward that Perez reported as being the fastest-rising name, it’s “Cullen,” which is the last name of Edward from Twilight. So… ScreenName, can you guess why that’s on the rise?

  6. I once dated a girl who said she wanted to have a baby boy and name him Jacob and get a dog and name him Max.

    I made some snide remark about how she could continue her streak of original thinking by having a wedding in June and a honeymoon in Paris.

    I think we broke up soon afterwards.

  7. @7 Sure, but that argument does NOT convince me that we should make it easy for them to move forward by making it so easy for them to have guns.

  8. The Texeme.Construct() has been forecasting a Jobs Boom for the last 10 months.

    2010 is seeing that happen.

  9. So the gulf coast is going to have the added tourist attraction, not just of gobs of oil, rotting fish, and flailing birds, but also oil soaked wigs and human hair? I grabbing a beach towel and heading down there on vacation right now. Do they need any of the waste from Brazilian wax jobs, too?

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