Magic: Money manager and his hundreds of millions have disappeared from Florida.

More money magic: Zimbabwe to release a $100 trillion note.

An encore of money magic: Huge corporations don’t pay taxes, hate America.

Keep it classy, Bush: Departing dickweed triples import duty on roquefort cheese to 300%, flustering Frenchmen.

Referendum on term limits: Venezuelan National Assembly approves.

Free-trade with Peru: Bush signs pact.

Making history: Inauguration to be “the largest temporary restroom event in the history of the United States.”

Always be closing: Bank of Clark County in Vancouver,WA is one of the first banks to be closed in 2009.

When Monster Jam attacks!: Two injured at truck show in Tacoma Dome last night.

No student left behind: No new students will start classes at UW Seattle campus this spring, except athletes.

Juan Cole: Writes the best “I’m-a-liberal-blogger-and-I-am-going-to-write-about-how-shitty-President Bush-is/was/will always be” farewell essay.

Around the world…

…and at the Egyptian tonight.

11 replies on “The Morning News”

  2. Bush found one last group that he hadn’t totally infuriated yet: foodies!

    Additionally, I missed a monster truck show?! Fuck. I always do that. I need a cute boy to promise to take me to the next one.

  3. Actually, one of the injured (a five year old boy, or something like that) died from injuries at the Monster Truck Show.

    Controversy swirls, in those circles where controversy always swirls, about how it was handled.

  4. Wait – the previous tariff was 100%? Is this correct? Do we currently have to pay DOUBLE the actual price for cheese just because it’s imported? NO WONDER American cheese is so terrible – they have literally double the money to work with!

    @2: I WILL FORM AN ON-LINE PETITION TO TEH PRESIDENT IMMEDIATELY!

  6. Here’s some fucked up news to ruin your morning:

    In 2000, public-health officials believed that syphilis was close to being eliminated, but a dramatic jump in infections among gay and bisexual men reversed the downward trend.

    Men who engaged in homosexual sex made up 65 percent of the 11,466 cases reported in 2007, roughly the same as in 2006.

    — Reprinted in the Seattle Times

    Put a condom on it, guys.

  7. I’m intrigued by the new Secy of State’s call for smart power. Obama and his comrades definitely seem like an gang of tough Encyclopedia Brown’s who would beat your ass with slide rules if you stepped out of line.

    I am looking forward to his walk softly and have a big brain approach to matters.

  8. @2: Yeah, I was totally outraged when I read that about roquefort, and then amused by my own priorities. DO NOT FUCK WITH THE CHEESE.

    Where did anyone get the idea (besides from the mouths of liars) that Republicans represent free trade?

  11. The original article in the Times was modified just before 4pm this afternoon to update the status of the victims. I posted the link at 9am this morning, when it just said injured…

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