All year, we publish stories in these pages that provide news and our, uh, perspective about the events of the day. Elected officials, neighborhood activists, and respectable people with respectable ideas—we disagree with lots of ’em. But, miraculously, they keep taking our calls. (Well, most of them, anyway.) They don’t scream at us, shake their fists, take out hits, or otherwise try to deliver the eternal suffering they think we deserve. (Well, most of them, anyway.) So for the last issue of the year, we’re turning over our news page to the subjects of our most pointed criticism, to let them say what they regret most about our coverage. Hint: They’re not super-thrilled.
Seattle City Council member Tom Rasmussen regrets that he’s been called a “debate-ducking coward,” “Tom ‘Profile in Courage’ Rasmussen,” and “an awfully slow reader” in The Stranger this year. Says Rasmussen:
“I regret how mean The Stranger has been to me this year with the name-calling, taunting, etc. My question for Dominic and Dan: Will it get better?”
Erin Shannon, spokeswoman for the conservative Building Industry Association of Washington, regrets taking a call from Eli Sanders on September 30 after a judge ruled that her organization had mishandled funds. At the time, The Stranger reported that Shannon described the BIAW’s money mismanagement as “some technical paperwork and accounting procedural violations.” Shannon wrote an e-mail to Sanders:
“Hey, Eli. I’m glad I took the time out of my busy schedule today talking to real reporters to e-mail you information explaining the judge’s ruling so that you could ignore everything I sent. There is a reason why I don’t waste my time taking calls from The Stranger and your article reminded me of that. Don’t bother calling me for comments again.”
Failed 34th District state house candidate Mike Heavey regrets that the Stranger Election Control Board (SECB) didn’t endorse him in the run-up to the November elections. Says Heavey:
“After reading in your endorsement issue that my ‘only qualification was being shot out of a state senator’s balls,’ I, Mike Heavey, regret that the SECB did not factor in my second greatest qualification: my boyish good looks. I also regret not blowing more members of the SECB. I thought one would be enough (thanks, Dominic, you never called, BTW). It’s kinda sad we no longer live in a world where you can fellate your way to the top.”
Attorney General Rob McKenna regrets that The Stranger turned him into a health-care-reform-hating monster (which he is) with our April 1 cover, which featured a picture of a young girl who could be hurt by McKenna’s anti-health-care-reform lawsuit, along with cover text that read: “She’s adorable! Why is Rob McKenna attacking her family?” Says McKenna:
“I regret your April cover story turning the serious need for health care reform into a partisan, personal attack on me—one with too many errors to count. The Stranger‘s editorial position may conflict with mine, but c’mon, at least get your facts straight. First, a teaser should get people to pick up the paper, but accusing me of ‘attacking her family’—really? A headline should draw readers in, but ‘Why Do You Hate Them, Rob?’ is a tad excessive, perhaps? The opening line, accusing me of trying to ‘overturn the newly passed health-insurance reforms’—a charge repeated throughout—establishes the low bar for accuracy. If reporters had listened to any interview with me, or interviewed me directly, they would know that my legal argument challenged the constitutionality of the individual mandate, not the entire law. A federal judge recently agreed with that argument, while the Justice Department agreed that the rest of the law would stand without the individual mandate. Perhaps The Stranger should regret crediting three different reporters on this article. Rewriting Democratic Party press releases shouldn’t take that many—right?”
Initiative kingpin Tim Eyman regrets the “repeated negative coverage” he got this year—and every year before this one—in the pages of The Stranger, but says he’ll keep right on pissing us off in the future. Says Eyman:
“Whatever. That’s always been my reaction to The Stranger‘s ‘news stories’ about our initiatives. Your hysterical stories—hysterical as in deranged and hysterical as in funny—about our Initiative 1053 are a good example. Despite your best efforts, voters overwhelmingly approved (64 percent) the reinstatement of the two-thirds vote requirement for the legislature to raise taxes.
“What’s most entertaining is your constant complaints about the initiative process itself, because I firmly believe that your position would be different if voters were voting for ‘your’ initiatives. The state income tax initiative received nonstop cheerleading by The Stranger, but it flamed out with voters. But instead of accepting the voters’ decision like an adult, we instead hear that the whole system is corrupt and that if only voters were smart like you, it would have passed. Sure, go ahead, keep telling yourself that—ya, it was just a ‘communication problem.’ Whatever.”
Kirk Groenig, an organizer for the Tea Party movement in Yakima, regrets ending up in our paper and on our website, where liberal commenters attacked him over his strong opposition to Senator Patty Murray and her health-care-reform push. Says Groenig:
“I believe that people have to work for a living, and should work for a living, and shouldn’t get handouts. I didn’t get handouts. I was a farm worker. I worked in the orchards and the asparagus fields and picked up hay. And then I pruned apple trees, pear trees, peach trees. And over time, I changed my circumstance through hard work. And that’s all I ask of most other people. We have to stop the handouts that don’t help. We need to do more like Jesus said, which was teach people how to fish instead of keep giving them fish. That’s my whole thing. We need people to be more self-sufficient.
“I ended up in The Stranger because we had a Tea Party event of regular Americans against the ideals of the Obama administration in Yakima. And for that we got called derogatory names and dragged through the mud, just because we have a difference of opinion. All kinds of names. But since you’re in the Tea Party movement, they always use that same, low-life derogatory name that I’m not going to repeat because I think it’s offensive. [Eds: He’s talking about the term ‘teabagger.’]
“It wasn’t an accurate description. I got people threatening to follow me home. All kinds of filthy words. It was pretty bad. But, you know, it goes with the territory. I just know when I take a stand, and people don’t like it, people on the left, they don’t have nothing to stand on so all they seem to do is bad-mouth people and call them derogatory names or threats.”
Karen McGough, a North Seattle anti-bike-lane activist, regrets how hard the Seattle Department of Transportation (SDOT) has humped bikes this last year—the department proposes reducing four lanes of traffic to two on Northeast 125th Street, while putting in bike lanes in either direction. McGough also regrets that The Stranger has been humping bikes just as hard as SDOT. Furthermore, she regrets that her BFF relationship with city council member Jean Godden—who wrote a letter to SDOT on her behalf protesting the bike-lane plan—has failed to stop bike lanes from coming to her neighborhood. Says McGough:
“I regret how much flak Jean’s received over that letter she sent. She says there’s been a lot of fuss and it probably hasn’t done any good, anyway. I think SDOT is going to go ahead and put single lanes of traffic there, which is a shame because it will make traffic very heavy. It will keep people from coming into Lake City and Seattle. That is entirely regrettable.”
Seattle City Council member Tim Burgess regrets Seattle’s shortage of “real” journalists but generally applauds The Stranger‘s staff of fake journalists.
“I don’t think I should be critiquing journalists or those who pretend to be journalists,” says Burgess, adding, “I understand that The Stranger has an important role to play entertainment-wise, and you guys play that role well.” Burgess denies regretting that Stranger news editor Dominic Holden helped kill his aggressive-solicitation bill earlier this year—a bill that was widely seen as a first step toward a 2014 mayoral bid by Burgess. He also denies regretting that he can’t skin Holden like a cat in a Chinese prison. “I like Dominic,” Burgess says.
Elizabeth Campbell, the viaduct-rebuild advocate behind Seattle Citizens Against the Tunnel (SCAT), which is running Initiative 101 to stop the deep-bore tunnel, regrets that The Stranger didn’t research this tunnel business thoroughly enough. Says Campbell:
“The Stranger could’ve done more in-depth critical research and come up a winner, maybe even been a Pulitzer Prize contender. I also regret that SCAT didn’t get to be on the Stranger panel regarding the anti-tunnel review,” Campbell says, adding that the tunnel was brainstormed by “corrupt government officials and their special-interest friends.”
Bill Bradburd, a Central District activist who challenged new rules for town-house development, says The Stranger is in the pockets of corporate fat cats and government bureaucrats. Says Bradburd:
“What is offensive, as an alternative newsweekly, is that you should be taking an antiestablishment perspective. You tend to go for the corporate angle rather than the grassroots angle. You are a great defender of the powers that be and you don’t advocate enough for the little guy. When it came to our challenge [of town-house regulation], you seemed to belittle our efforts and instead side with the city council. We were pushing hard on issues of affordable housing—we were not against density but for quality construction—and we were insisting on small projects being built green.”
Bradburd adds that The Stranger didn’t capture the essence of his point when he opposed a bill to allow illuminated signs on downtown skyscrapers. “Jesus, I regret that The Stranger couldn’t get the inflection in my voice when you asked about what impacts those signs would have and I said, ‘I don’t know, what happens if we tattoo a Nike swoosh on our foreheads?’ I was saying, ‘C’mon, we are sacrificing our soul for a brand name.'”
An anonymous source at the Seattle Police Department regrets Dominic Holden’s coverage of SPD’s October 25 armed marijuana raid on Will Laudanski, a legal medical marijuana patient with only two small plants in his home. Says the source:
“In his article, Dominic claimed that our anti-crime team stormed in with MP5s—machine guns. We didn’t storm in with machine guns; the officers were carrying standard-issue glocks. Everyone at the department has one; only SWAT has MP5s and they weren’t present at this raid.” Meanwhile, The Stranger regrets that SPD told the Seattle Times it had fixed Laudanski’s broken door when in fact it had not. 
I regret not saying more things about the stupid tunnel.
@1 I regret Will putting the word “stupid” in the wrong place in the above sentence.
Let’s clue poor Kurt Groenig in on the fact that he won’t find that “teach a man to fish” adage in the Bible. It’s an anonymous quote. But his screed does illustrate just how little some self-described “Christians” on the Right actually understand about (and practice) Christianity. In point of fact, Jesus would have hectored, berated, and pleaded with us to feed the hungry. Period. With fish, or whatever was on hand. That’s how He rolled.
I regret 1098 not passing. 🙁
“I believe that people have to work for a living, and should work for a living, and shouldn’t get handouts. I didn’t get handouts. I was a farm worker.”
Hang on, *hold the fucking phone*. Where exactly do all those farm subsidies go again?!
For Timmy’s sake, it’s a good thing we haven’t kneecapped the initiative process by requiring a 2/3 majority.
Also, is it just me or is SCAT a really shitty acronym?
I regret replying to APs like @2 even though they’re probably paid by the Tunnel backers and their spouses/girlfriends.
@4 for the win.
I regret assigning the win so often, but it’s like fist-bumping …
I regret immediately thinking of poo when I saw the acronym SCAT.
Rasmussen wins with My question for Dominic and Dan: Will it get better?”
Groenig loses with his fake Jesus quote “We need to do more like Jesus said, which was teach people how to fish instead of keep giving them fish.”
I regret all the times I participated in flamewars on Slog, AND I regret all the times I wrote up half or all of a post in a flamewar and then checked myself and didn’t submit it.
Also, Kurt does realize that Jesus’ entire role in the New Testament IS as a giant handout, right? No. Of course he does not.
“I didn’t get handouts. I was a farm worker.”
on a farm that got govt handouts. good work.
I regret not living in Seattle so I could vote for Mike Heavey. He’s dreamy.
i regret that i waste so much time reading this half assed paper run by people who’d rather be doing other things, degenerate potheads, and idiotic drunks
I regret reading the words of self-pitying, victim-card-playing teabaggers.
@7, @8 I regret double posts. Usually the first one appears and then I see something that slipped in before the rest.
@12 if it weren’t for farm subsidies the budget would be in the black and your cell phone and internet bill would be half what it is now.
“I just know when I take a stand, and people don’t like it, people on the left, they don’t have nothing to stand on so all they seem to do is bad-mouth people and call them derogatory names or threats.”
Jesus tapdancing christ. I bet this asshole wants an amendment making English the official language of Washington State.
I regret all the wealth-crazed Republicans and Tea Baggers going bezerk in 2010 and running amok, and the fools who blindly support them.
I regret that the Grease Monkey script I run blocks Will in Seattle on Slog but not here.
I REGRET NOTHING!
I regret that I sometimes forget that the word “news” means different things to different people, no matter how poorly researched or biased.
I regret, for the second year in a row, that the wrong daily metro newspaper went out of business first.
I have learned to laugh at what passes for journalism.
the picture makes me happy–it makes it seem like the only people the stranger has pissed off are cranky white dudes.
I regret my participation in the Slog gift exchange, because now I’m stuck with a goddamn Jonas Brothers Blu-Ray. Damn you, Mr. Savage.
I also regret reading most of the Slog comment section, since it makes me despair for humanity. Are there really this many xenophobic, ultra-conservative, relentlessly douche-y assholes out there, or are they just particularly pre-occupied with posting here?
I regret seeing “The Penitent Man” at the SIFF this year. Who the fuck thought this was a good movie?
Poor Mr. Groening doesn’t realize that the Teabaggers picked that name FOR THEMSELVES as a poor attempt to reference the Boston Tea Party without consulting Urban Dictionary first. I bet whoever made that call regrets that.
I regret banging WillInSeattle’s mom while he was pregnant with him and donkey punching her- the lack of oxygen seems to have made one of the most annoying Seattleites ever.
I regret my last partner….I regret buying a taco from the taco truck. Regrets are like assholes, we all have them. Its a new year, lets try to do better. I know I will, How about all of you?
I regret thinking that all the people pictured in the above article have punchable faces.
Oh, wait. I don’t think that.
I regret not living in Seattle and working for the Stranger so I could get blown by Mike Heavey.
You nave to hand it to the conservative’s puppet masters: they are absolutely geniuses when it comes to harnessing, and then nourishing, that selfish, ignorant, self-pitying vibe that is so prevalent in the so-called “heartland” areas of the country. (yes, it’s in the cities too, but in much smaller numbers, and no one cares what those people think in cities)
If conservatives like this tea partier would just be honest with themselves, instead of always looking for someone to blame for their personal problems, this country would be a lot better off. And if they would just recognize that their dull little lives will never be as exciting as their favorite TV show, the burden they place on social services would be greatly reduced.
But then, conservatism is founded on the principles of fear of the unknown, self-pity, easy answers, and willfull ignorance. Why think when someone can do it for you?
I love when supposed Christians think they are quoting Jesus AND THE DON’T DO IT! I challenge tea party dude to find where Jesus taught “people how to fish instead of keep giving them fish.” DO IT TEA PARTY GUY!
I regret that people like Jean Vanier and Jimmy Carter have to share a religion with people like Kirk Groenig, who knows neither text nor subtext of the gospels.
Actually, wasn’t it Jesus who gave everybody free wine at the wedding at Canna (sp?) and made the loaves and fishes last enough to feed the crowd at the Sermon on the Mount (or someplace)? And didn’t he provide free healthcare from time to time?
I was raised Catholic, so we didn’t fuss much with the Bible – no memorizing verses or any of that nonsense – but I seem to remember those stories. He sounds like a Socialist to me.
http://farm.ewg.org/region.php?fips=5307…
Apple subsidies in Yakima County:
Number of Recipients 1995-2009: 1,291
Subsidy Total 1995-2009: $48,071,387
No handouts, eh? It could be that he has never personally received money from the government, but that doesn’t make the quote “I didn’t get handouts. I was a farm worker,” any less ridiculous. Farms get government handouts all the time. If you believe in trickle-down economics (and a dollar says most Tea Party people do), that’s the same as a handout to their employees.
“FUCK THE POOR!” Jeezus shrieked as he climbed into his golden chariot purchased with the proceeds from the sale of his mega-ministry to a syndicate of Roman bankers, “it’s every man for himself!”
i regret living in the same state as tim eyman. “whatever” is the whine of a self-pitying teenager – not the defacto governor of washington state.
I’m sure that I must regret something but I just can’t think of what it is right now.
I regret that as a Star Wars nerd, I share a common interest with Tim Eyman.
I regret that I tend to agree with Hitchens these days, that the chance that someone’s religious beliefs will cause him/her to uphold oppression and provide permission to commit crimes against humanity is high.
Just once, I wish someone who proclaims to be Christian explain to me where in the Gospels it promises that followers get to store up wealth for themselves? In all my years of study I have yet to find it. I do find a fair bit of, radix omnium malorum avaritia (the early Christian acrostic, ROMA) or “Avarice (or greed) is the root of all evil.
Perhaps this is why many of the consevative Christian faith, like our Mr. Tea Party Member, are grumbling? They found the passage that supports storing up wealth. As I read it, the practice of compassion found in the Gospels means both charity and justice. Charity, direct philanthropy, is rarely offensive, but social reform and social transformation or justice, which seeks to change the social systems (political, economic, culture attitudes) is offensive.
I regret that working hard on a farm without any help from the government is a fancy way of saying receiving farm subsidies from the government to farm.
Doublespeak, much?
Uhhh, The Stranger is a solid paper, one of the few examples of journalism and a wonderful blog.
It is also funny.
Grow up grandpa, It isn’t alternative or a satire paper, its a real paper and if you notice any difference between The Stranger and other paper it’s just the widening gulf between quality newspapers and boring corporate shells.
Rewind @ 38,
I neglected to type that I was paraphrasing Marcus Borg twice, with the ROMA acrostic and with the charity isn’t offensive but justice is.
Yes, I paraphrased both an atheist and a member of the Society of Biblical Literature, and a Hundere Distinguished Professor of Religion and Culture in the same post and it made smile that they both came to mind. In my opinion they both are treasures.
I regret how long this thread is, and the utter inability of middle class Seattleites to realize they’re paying for the rich people’s vanity projects.
I do hope Burgess runs for Mayor in 2014, he’d surely lose. Maybe in 2012 he’ll lock himself in his anti-gay church away from those people in South Seattle and try to pray away the sin and shame of giving token donations to WAFST for a very long time and come out in 2014 — but not the gay “coming out” — thinking it’s time for his glorious ascent to the throne of Seattle. It would be appropriate, seeing as he campaigned for the 2009 election in 2010.
His campaign slogan would be “Does this liberalism make me look hellbound?”
Do it, Tim! TIM BURGESS 2014
Also, Tom Rasmussen is the most delicate flower on the City Council. You just want to hug his face and tell him it’ll all be okay.
I regret that it took 17 years to end DADT, and that I’m now too old to go back in and finish the military career I started.
Tea-baggers: fuck all of you, right from my heart. You’re assholes dressed in American-flag underwear smeared with your shit.
==============================
“Teapartyidiotism” is the newest cancer attacking the human body politic.
Does anyone have a vaccine? Yes! I do! It’s a three-pronged defense and prevention protocol:
(1) Education, education, education! Ignorant people fear what they don’t know, and knowledgeable people are empowered to move beyond their selfish preoccupations.
(2) “You-nification” — not “I-solationism” — leads people out of the dank, noisome hell of narcissism and zero-sum greed.
(3) The Future: a vision of how we can improve the world by working together, not working against each other.
If these don’t work, there’s always amputation. If we keep getting “Teapartyectomies” instead of finding a cure for the infection of destructive conservatism, we may end up with… surprise! a great place to live! One can only hope.
All those people showed up to hear Jesus talk, and there were only three fish or whatever and some bread. What did Jesus do? Tell people to go to the river and get a stick and some string? Suggest they build an oven and grow wheat? No. He said “I have compassion for these people; they have already been with me three days and have nothing to eat. I do not want to send them away hungry, or they may collapse on the way.” And he fed them.
And then they crucified him .. Gronig, you are getting off lightly by people calling you a teabagger, by comparison.
I don’t regret berating brown nosed supporters of the deep bore tunnel travesty fiasco scandal. I do regret being unable to expose legally prosecutable corruption within the DOTs so that the Alaskan Way Viaduct could have been demolished and the seawall rebuilt sooner.
I regret that Mr. Groenig thinks it is okay to libel Jesus (unless he simply stated it, in which case he slandered Jesus) by attributing things Jesus never said and that aren’t in the Bible to Jesus in order to pervert the message of the New Testament. I regret that people pretend to be Christian, but act as if they are too lazy to even be bothered to read a translation of the Bible and learn a little bit of what Christianity is about. If he truly thought that Jesus was divine and that worshiping him were the most important thing there was to do, then nothing would be more important to him than learning correctly what those teachings are. But clearly, that is a low priority to him. No, he goes around lying to others about what Jesus said. What is his motive? To pervert true believers? To spread a false religion? Nobody knows but him. But his fruits are clearly rotten.
Actually, the quote that the old dude is misquoting for his own benefit is Jesus telling the fishermen who would later become his disciples “I will make you fishers of men.”
And it seems to me that the only people who have fulfilled that promise are gay men and the girls who used to hang out at Kurrent (sorry, there is no backwards K on my computer).
His name should be pronounced as “ME-man,” not “I-man.”
His stock and trade is narcissism, as with all his camp-followers, cheer-leaders and other assorted losers who lick out his toilet bowls, smiling all the while.
Simple Eyman was a pie-man, going to the fair.
He looked so glum, he stuck in his thumb,
and pulled out a great big turd
to feed
to the rest
of us.
@46 & 51:
THANK YOU! I could NOT have said it better myself!
What’s dat shit Eyman is wearing in his pic? Is it his SuperDoosh costume? It needs some tailoring.
Note to Kirk Groenig:
The “teach a man to fish” thing is NOT in the Bible:
These passages, however, are:
Matthew 19:24(NIV version)
“Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”
Matthew 25:40(King James Version)
“And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done [it] unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done [it] unto me.”
Or, as the t-shirt I recently purchased puts it
“Jesus was a Jewish Socialist”.
@5: Farm subsidies go to farmland owners, not to farm-workers; we should all know that “trickle-down” is bullshit. And they’re a form of evil corporate welfare designed primarily to benefit agribusiness by making high-cost (petrol-based), environmentally-destructive, large-scale farming practices able to compete with smaller-scale sustainable farming operations (this was not the original intent, but what’s happened over the last hundred years or so). On the other hand, they do allow farm workers to afford to buy the food they’re growing, though obviously not Groening, as that would constitute him benefiting from a “handout” and I doubt he was paying much, if anything, in income tax working as a farm laborer.
Granted, in a truly free market like the one teabaggers like Groening claim to want (no worker protections, no unions, etc.), he would (as a farm worker) have been an indentured servant (or slave; bans on owning people are restrictions on the operation of capital markets, after all, since people are one of the most abundant resources to be exploited) with no ability to “[change his] circumstance through hard work.” Or his job wouldn’t have been available to him, as immigration laws that restrict the free movement of labor in response to market pressures (establishing differential market segments across national borders) are in opposition to flat-world single-market economics that characterize free-market capitalism in a world with instant-information-transfer technologies and fast, reliable long-range shipping technologies, and his job would have gone to a Mexican immigrant making a sixth of even his meager wage.
The whole “only hard-working people deserve to eat” argument kinda fails when our hallowed corporations are draining/scamming money from us here and stockpiling it while dodging taxes and shipping as many jobs as possible to totalitarian hell-holes like China, resulting in at least 10% unemployment (9.6% applying for benefits, plus those who aren’t, plus those who aren’t actively seeking paid employment, plus the invisible self-employed who have lost a lot of business, plus people who are still technically employed but have had wages/hours/benefits cut down to problematic levels, plus anyone else I missed). If you can give me an economic system that guarantees a living wage to anyone who wants to work, Groening, I’ll agree with your “no handouts” position. Until then, you’re just another privileged asshole who wants to exploit other (mostly brown) people to bolster your own material-quality-of-life. Fuck you.
I suppose it’s not fair to expect un/undereducated Tea Party idiots like Groening to adopt consistent political/social/economic philosophies (i.e. immigration laws are a market restriction, so you can either back free markets or heavily-controlled immigration, but not both) when they have no idea what they’re talking about and are simply taking talking points from the FOX “News” programming stream, but can I at least expect them to shut the fuck up concerning topics about which they apparently know nothing? Dealing with non-sequiturs and meaningless platitudes while seriously and thoroughly demolishing arguments for a government that does nothing except enforce contract law and private ownership rights is becoming extremely tiresome. As is the “Tea Party” re-branding of the Confederacy.
By the way, Socialists don’t believe in “handouts” either; or I should say, Socialists actually don’t believe in handouts, for anyone. We believe that everyone (who is able; what to do with those who are not able can be a point of heated disagreement, especially resources are insufficient to support the extant population and/or people continue to insist on having ten-child families) needs to work to have an economy that functions in the best interests of everyone (as opposed to, say, making money simply by virtue of having lots of money as in charging interest on loans or buying shares in a company and then selling them at a higher price or buying commodities not to put to productive use but to sit on until the price increases or exchanging currencies using a system where you sell at a rate higher than that at which you buy), because it’s not fair to have assholes who sit around and leech off of the system while contributing nothing useful i.e. Capitalists exploiting a money-service-money model of exchange, especially where the “service” is of no utility value for human survival nor comfort. As such, Socialist systems (free-market, regulated-market, planned-market, command-market, null-market, or any other flavor) provide jobs for everyone via public sector employment so that everyone who wants to work and make a good life for him- or her- or hirself can do so. Welfare is required to make free(ish)-market Capitalism functional (well, to prevent the masses of starving/homeless people who can’t get jobs because there aren’t any from saying “Wait, why are we letting these few people control an inordinate amount of our resources?”, taking up arms, and slaughtering the greatly-outnumbered wealthy). What are all of those unemployed people supposed to do? Responding “look for work and get a job” is simply delusional at this point, because the jobs just aren’t there. “Starve” is a more realistic response, but it’s not really a marketable political platform, and additionally you’re running the risk of massively increased crime of the sort that disregards your precious private-ownership laws as people turn to theft out of desperation. You don’t like handouts. Fine. What’s YOUR fucking solution, asshole?
I regret my small penis.