This is probably the most important measure you’ll vote on this election season. Of course, this ass-backward world being what it is, it’s also the measure you’ve likely heard the least about. It’s being pushed by King County executive Dow Constantine, and it’s known as “Best Starts for Kids” because—spoiler alert—it invests a bunch of money in providing a better start in life to those kids who get a hard draw in the birth lottery. If this sounds like a nice-but-maybe-expensive thing to do for your less-fortunate neighbors, check yourself. Yes, it’s a nice thing to do, but it’s also a great way of saving your own precious tax dollars in the long run, you stingy fuck. That’s because a lot of your precious tax dollars are now spent—to pick just one pricey example—on incarcerating kids who got a very bad start in life. As Constantine puts it: “You pay dearly for the pound of cure, for want of an ounce of prevention.” So he wants you to approve $65 million a year over six years in new property taxes—stop whining, that works out to only about $56 per year for the average King County property owner, you stingy fuck—in order to fund early childhood interventions.
