A woman is married to a cruel dickhead, pure ‘n’ simple. Will she DTMFA?
Confused Unicorn: A married bisexual is chagrined by the treatment she gets among the gays. The poignant questionยis the B in LGBT silent?
A woman uses the wrong pronoun to address a transsexual pal. All hell breaks loose.
And more.
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Savage Love Episode 207
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Nonsense about the silent B. It does happen, but as Dan said, generally in a dating forum. But, as someone who wanted to go poly- (I was going to be one end of a banana), but was pre-dumped for The Wife (which means it was going to be cheating apparently), I now GET it. It’s the privilege of being able to go back in the closet, that tends to be unintentionally flaunted by bi-s. It is Not Cool.
I like Dan’s birthday party analogy. It’s weird to think that because you’re brand new, everybody (who has already lived through the BS for HOWEVER many years without any recognition from any one –and certainly not from you while you were straight, btw) to applaud. Like Dan said, find a group that identifies specifically as bi-friendly or coming out for that.
A FUCKING MEN for your advice on that first lady with the asshole husband. I’m so glad my boyfriend loves me and thinks I’m sexy even though I’m a little round (because of that even!) Never deal with
As a bi woman who has tried to participate in queer spaces I have had largely negative experiences with lesbians in the community. I know this call was from a while ago now, but if there is anyone in a similar position as the caller I suggest trying to make trans, gay, bi and queer friends instead. You don’t have to be friends with lesbians to be in the community and you never have to be friends with anyone that treats you poorly, regardless of what their ‘reasons’ are.
When I was younger I went with two of my other bi friends to a lesbian bar and had fun chatting with the other patrons. Occasionally I would be asked if I was lesbian or bi, and when I responded the other party would usually grumble about some girl that acted like an ass at party/in uni/in highschool/etc. who was OMG TOTALLY BI. But whatever, no skin off my nose, right? Finally I’m talking to someone and the question inevitably comes up and I say I’m bi… to which they disagree. I am blonde and have fairly long hair and this, they state, makes me straight. I’m part of the patriarchy and I break lesbians hearts. My friends, (a brunette and a red head respectively), are ‘fine’. They’re just confused. But me? I’m the problem.
I don’t expect a party or to get a long with everyone and I’m still looking for friends in the community, but I’ve yet to meet any lesbians that haven’t treated me with hostility for the colour of my hair and the people in my bed. If I’m not doing anything illegal in it or trying to get them in there, then what goes on in my bedroom or how I choose to describe my sexuality is not something they get to judge.