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Is anybody else slightly offended by the girl at the end advising all men ever to NOT EVER EVER leave your date on the dance floor, lest her out-of-control libido land her in the arms of the next available pull? God FORBID you take that toilet break! You need to chaperone your dates 24/7 GUYS!
My advice? On your first date, purposefully stay in the toilet for slightly longer than you need to. If when you get back, and whoever you were seeing has decided you weren’t worth waiting ten bloody minutes for, then good riddance.
Sorry, felt like a rant.
I have to agree: a guy who wouldn’t let me alone for a few minutes is a creeper, no matter what the girl with the sexy voice (omg, such a sexy voice) had to say.
Sometimes a girl likes to dance with her fucking friends. Jesus.
Sexy voice, though.
I agree with your response to the age-player, with one caveat – it sounds like she’s not looking for a diaper-wearing partner, who are legion and largely male, but rather a Daddy type who will put her in diapers and fill up her sippy cups. These guys are out there, but they’re less common. Fetlife is probably the best place to start, but she’s wise to not just search by fetish. Plus, you can train a guy to play the daddy role much easier than training him to wear diapers with you.
Regarding your ham sandwich analogy: If I was starving I probably would eat that used sandwich. Don’t bathhouses depend on a similar feeling of urgency?
@4 Starving for an orgasm, starving for food…. mhmm. If only you could satisfy one of those vital needs with the simple movement of your right hand….the fuck! you can! and ease your hunger with the byproduct if you’re really so desperate.
Dude, we can all relate to cock lust, but the point Dan makes is bullet proof. Cudies are there, they don’t cease to exist once they enter your orifices. You either live your life embracing germs or rejecting them, but try for once the marvels of self-consistency and you might get mindfucked harder than in a gay bath house.
@5 Not sure if I understand your comment – I should choose either germs or no germs and then based on that choice, act accordingly, consistently? If this is what you’re saying, I agree. We’re talking about integrity, no?
I just think that a lot of bathhouse patrons are average, non-cootie havin’ guys who, every once in a while, need a place that is unequivocally about hooking up. If I go to a bathhouse once every six months and hook-up with the other guy who goes there once every six months, where are the cooties? Yes, there is no way for me to know with absolute certainty that that guy isn’t there every night getting laid by everyone, but you don’t need absolute certainty to make a rational decision.
@1 i’m offended by her, and by the original caller. how do you think it would have gone down if the gender roles were reversed–if a guy danced and made out with a random girl while on a date?
I think Dan got the call about the woman who can’t orgasm through vaginal incourse way off. It sound to me that she clearly had her own unrealistic expectations. It may have been partly the boyfriends fault, but she said she was “desperate.” I am sure her desperation would not help the boyfriend to get over it, either.
Regarding the woman with the boyfriend who does not ejaculate during oral sex, he may not be bullshitting when he says that he sees it as degrading. I am one of those guys who has NEVER had an orgasm from oral sex. Given that it doesn’t do anything for me physically, I used to speculate that the degradation thing was the main turn on for other guys. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. But let’s say your not turned on by someone else’s kink, like pie play. Why on earth, you wonder, are they into THAT? Obviously, the idea that hitting someone in the face with a pie is degrading would cross your mind. And let’s also face it (pun intended), blow jobs do tend to portrayed in a degrading manner in porn. This is not to say that they HAVE TO BE degrading. It is to say, however, that this guy has probably seen some porn in which women were degraded during oral sex. BTW, I LOVE anal sex and do not see it as degrading. I know lots of people who do not like anal sex, and I could understand how they would leap to the conclusion that degredation is the turn on if they did not “get it” the same way I do.
#s 1 and 2: you beat me to it. The logic of that woman’s argumen is that men must guard their territory at all times. Women as property, men as possessors, women as wanton trolls who stray at the slightest temptation, etc. The argument “If you don’t take her, I will,” both leaves the woman in question no agency or responsibility for her actions. In short, no flattering assumptions herein about this caller, no matter her sexy voice.
Personally, I think any person who’d make out with someone on a dance floor while on a date with someone else has some combination of piss poor judgment, narcissism, some fetish for power games, or just plain isn’t really interested in the person he or she is dating. If she thinks it’s really “no big deal” than she’ll end up with someone like her who mistakes lack of consideration with sexual autonomy.
The rant about Huckabee’s sex life might be my favourite thing that’s ever been on this podcast. Yeah, that’s a big statement. I’m good with it.
The Mike Huckabee rant at the start of the podcast made me throw up a little. I really never needed that image in my head. I completely agree that he is an ass but I still didn’t need that image in my head.
Oh jeez, I REALLY didn’t need that description of Huckabee and his wife. You are TOO much, Mr. Savage.
The last comment on the episode pissed me off. Having grown up in a post-feminist revolution society, where I had pounded into my head my entire childhood that women should be free and not treated like objects or property, being told not to give my date space on the dance floor is counter-intuitive and the opposite of what I’ve heard my whole life. If I keep an eye on her, that’s being disrespectful and creepy because it’s only a first date, why should I feel like I need to keep an eye on her? If I give her space and she winds up with another guy, that’s partially my fault for displaying poor judgment? WTF? Where’s the line?
I was SO surprised about the rant on bath houses!!! As a gay adult gay man I have to say that:
*Cock and ass found in a gay sauna can be much cleaner and safer than cock and ass found in any bar. In a gay sauna people are naked, they take showers, clean themselves, and you have the option to see someone, talk to them (even have a drink with them!), go to a cubicle and fuck. In any respectable gay sauna you will find condoms and lube, so not excuses for unsafe sex. On the other hand, meeting someone in a bar, after you are sweaty and semi-drunk, and sneaking to a back alley, car, or to your house to fuck, in my opinion, can lead to worse sex, more risky, and certainly more smelly and germy. Yuck!
*Gay saunas, aside from nudist beaches, are one of the last spaces for males to be naked around other men; to see and to be seen – whether you engage in sex or not. Sometimes I go to a gay sauna just for that, and to have a drink, or maybe a massage (non-sexual, as offered in most serious gay saunas around the world).
*Gay saunas are the best place for voyeurs and exhibitionists! You may, or may not engage in sex with other people. But do you know the rush I get from seeing, hearing, spying on other people fucking?? No germs, or half-eaten sandwich analogies apply.
In this one, as much as it hurts Dan, I think some of Sarah Palin’s evil spirit may have overtaken your inspiration…and I will gladly take you to some of my favorite gay saunas in Europe when you come, and you will see that you won’t be attacked by any super-germ. 🙂
PS. Aside from condoms, I do suggest flip-flops at all times (like at the gym!) – and good saunas also offer them for hygiene…
Antidepressants can and often do prevent women from having orgasms, or make it more difficult to orgasm. It’s a common side effect of the medication.
@16 agree, and was surprised when I listened that Dan didn’t catch onto the anti-depressant factor there. Goes to show that even when you’re perfect, sometimes you’re not.
A thought to consider for the girl who can’t give a blowjob away: maybe your game isn’t all that. My wife said she never had complaints about her head game, but it just not all there. We’ve tried, but between her lazy technique and reluctance to swallow, it’s a lot of work for me to come. Be sure you’ve got your head together before you try to figure out what’s going on in his.
I love going to gay bath houses and sex clubs. I do try to arrange connections on line but there are a lot of game players who offer hot chat but don’t ever intend to meet. I am not really a fan of bars and when I just want to have sex, not socialize too much, there is too much social and not a certainty of sex.
I do not always score when I go to a sex club, but the chances are better because all the guys are there for the same thing that I am. I have also had some really intimate and amazing connections made with guys that I have hooked up with at bath houses.
oh – I have never gotten infected with any STI. I always play safe and get myself checked medically routinely.
The analogies used about sex in a bathhouse weirdly echoed a lot of the rhetoric used in abstinence-only, sex-negative education. The point is a valid one, but the way Dan described it – invoking the “ickies” in a way that was awfully ironic after the spot-on intro – felt weirdly out of place.
I think the guy who won’t come in his girlfriend’s mouth also has a case of the Madonna/Whore Complex, especially given that he’s already called her easy for fucking him on the third date.
@2: I agree, that was a damn sexy voice!
Re: Mike Huckabee’s comments, please note that the FoxNews host who was grilling him is Andrew Napolitano, a Libertarian. Like most Libertarians, we may be fiscally conservative, but we want people to screw, marry, etc., anybody they want — we are all for personal freedom and the right to privacy. We are not the anti-abortion, anti-gay stereotypical “conservative,” despite our desire for balanced budgets and our belief that criminals should not be the only people with guns.
I’ve been married 36 years and not once has my husband come in my mouth, or any other woman’s mouth from oral sex. I give decent head; I’ve seen other women give him spectacular head; he’s even enjoyed two women on his dick at once; and yet he doesn’t orgasm via a blowjob (and yes, blow jobs do include hands). He certainly doesn’t think it’s degrading to me as he’s been known to pull out during intercourse and come in my mouth. The man simply does not receive the stimulation he needs from a blow job, any blow job. I compare it to women who don’t come from intercourse; he enjoys receiving head but needs to be inside a woman to reach completion.
Regarding the woman with the boyfriend who does not ejaculate during oral sex, I enjoy ejaculating in my girlfriends mouth but I know that its a very difficult, arduous process to make that happen. I know she could do it but I want to give her a break so I just cum another way instead. It’s not that its not appreciated or enjoyed, its just that I know that she is tired.
@11 His anti-Huckabee rant (or moment of sheer analytical brilliance) should be attached to the YouTube clip of Huckabee to have it’s own viral life. It should haunt Huckabee as much as santorum haunts that “Fu knead” (leaving my iPhone’s correction, wtf) Santorum.
I’m glad to read other people were also troubled by the girl’s comments at the end of the podcast. Such controlling behavior on a first date is a pretty big warning flag.
THANK YOU for talking to the girl’s boyfriend about adding clitoral stimulation to sex. I can’t come any other way, and I constantly have to educate my partners – it’s always news to them which makes me feel like my “lady parts” don’t work properly.
Also, thank you for your Mike Huckabee rant – “I don’t want to see what they do in their bedrooms” – does Mike Huckabee get off on imagining what the couple he met at the last PTA meeting do in their bedrooms? Mike Huckabee is probably one KINKY mother!
Here’s a scary visual for everyone – thanks Dan!
http://adriennescatholiccorner.blogspot.…
I’ve found that peeing my pants is a much better option than using the restroom at a dance club; I am always by my woman’s side.
I came here to berate Dan for his comment that Andrew Napolitano’s defense of his marriage rights was a bizarre, “through the looking glass” moment… but I see that PA Libertarian has already beat me to the punch.
Since this is such a mind-warping concept, let me try to break it down for y’all. Start from the principles that Dan always applies to relationships:
1. If everyone involved has given their fully informed consent, and they’re not inflicting any harm on others, whatever they’re doing must be pretty okay.
2. Just because you don’t approve of what they’re doing, doesn’t give you the right to stick your nose in their business, and force them to change their behavior to suit you.
Now — and here’s the tricky part — apply those same principles to ALL areas of your life, not just your sex life. I know, it’s a radical way to think, and that’s why libertarians are a persecuted minority.