Savage Love Episode 239

1. I appreciate that you posted the contact info for Randy Marquardt on the site. But could I request that when you give out email addresses on your podcast in the future, please S-L-O-W down.

   I find myself going back and fourth through the podcast multiple times trying to figure out exactly what you said. In fact, I thought you said “bent” when you actually send “bend”.

   Myself, I just go to the website and find it, but alot of the times for people on the fly listening, having to figure out what you said can be trying at times.

   So please for us “Slower” listeners, stop giving out email addresses like its a race.:)

   Great Show and I’ll be sending Mr Randy my thoughts today.

2. About the doll fetish guy:

   Can we please stop pathologizing pedophilia? I mean, I agree it’s bad of course, and I don’t want to enable anyone to practice it, but you telling this guy that “everything’s ok if you’re not actually interested in children” is easily the most terrifying thing that guy could here if he’s ACTUALLY sexually attracted to children! And if you’re going to scare someone about what they think and make them believe they can’t talk about it, you’re pushing someone to internalize and repress their inner tendencies instead of seek help or therapy or enable an honest, open discussion about their problems.

   Maybe instead of saying “sexual attraction to children is bad and you’re a squicky monster if you’re even going in that direction”, you should say “sexual attraction to children is not culturally accepted to pursue so if you feel like you are attracted to children you should feel enabled and even compelled to seek help and discussion to work toward a more socionormative sexual expression and work to become at peace between the disconnect between how you feel and what society will allow you to do.”

   Before we can enable conversations about people who are attracted to children, we are fostering fear and despair in those people AND pushing behavior that’s damaging to children into the quiet underground where we can’t really monitor it or address it. So many children get sexually abused or objectified in their lives, and yet we see so few pedophiles…because they’re in hiding, pushed into the shadows by people who can’t enable an open, understanding conversation on a difficult topic. Pedophiles don’t have to be automatically bad people, they can just be people who have a problem that isn’t socially accepted (perhaps somewhat analagous to drug abusers or hoarders or people with OCD…they have tendencies that are out of the social norm and can be damaging to their social standing just like pedophiles, but they have treatment and discussion options available to them. Let’s start Pedophiles Anonymous and make some progress for a change).

3. Man, I totally watched Jesus Camp on Netflix last month. It is definitely creepy. Also, Netflix is great – they have the entire original Twilight Zone series available for streaming in HD, too. Netflix!

   (P.S. Hey, Netflix, can I get some cash for my plug? Maybe in the form of a few months free service?)

4. I’m going to send him 500 postcards that say “there is no homosexual agenda!” on one side with a picture of the virgin mary douching on the other!

5. As a striking and unusual, but not conventionally pretty, woman; I have sometimes been targeted by people who wanted to be with someone like me so they could have the power that the more attractive member of a relationship has. I can’t even start to tell you how demoralizing it is to find out that this has happened even once. People have different tastes, and you always figure the person with you has desires that you fulfill. You never want to know that they think they utterly outclass you (unless that tickles your inner submissive.) Like Dan, I don’t want to tell that last guy to break up an evidently successful relationship, but I am aware that he is wronging this woman. I would like to remind everyone in his position that looks are subjective. Even if he doesn’t think his girlfriend is the hottest thing going, SOMEONE ELSE DOES. Maybe awareness of that fact can help him see her with new eyes and appreciate what he has instead of what else is out there.

6. To the man with the average girlfriend. Keep in mind that even the hottest woman becomes “average” looking after the 500th fuck. But other things make up for that and you can still feel deeply bonded. But for the variety of fresh bodies, look at porn and masturbate.

   Remember, there’s porn for additional sexual stimulation. But there’s no equivalent for emotional or mental stimulation.

7. DAN! if my memory serves me correctly you had sworn off the phrase ‘floats your boat’. I thought the savage world had traded that phrase in for ‘lifts your luggage’. anywho, just a hilarious reminder.

8. I’d just like to point out that carbon dating is not used to tell the age of the Earth, as the half-life of C14 is way too short. It’s mainly used to determine the age of biological items that are a maximum of 50 000ish years old.

9. The last caller should let his girlfriend go. I really don’t see how it would be possible for this guy to be motivated enough to call Dan about this yet hide his feelings from his girlfriend. He’s probably bleeding disappointment and dissatisfaction through every pore and she’s picking up on it, if not consciously yet, then probably enough to make her feel bad about herself. If he really gives a crap about her at all he’ll set her free; she certainly won’t break up with him since he’s probably reassuring her right now that he really DOES love her and their sex life really IS great and there’s nothing wrong, nothing at all; it’s all in her head…

10. Hey given that I am the guy who called in about my doll fetish being a indicator of pedophilia I just wanted to say thank you to Dan for answering my question, you’ve totally lifted a mental burden I’d been carrying around since I realized I had a doll fetish a few years back.

11. Is anyone else amused when Dan says “URL” like a word? I’ve never heard anyone else do that, three letters is easy enough to spell out, but maybe I’m just not cool.

12. Dan, you missed that when you google dear ol’ Randy’s name, you get his personal blogspot!

    http://randy-marquardt.blogspot.com/

    interesting.

13. I can’t believe Dan totally missed the point that the chick who wants a pass to fuck her old boyfriend has a total crush on him. Sex with this guy freaks her out because she’s been having an emotional relationship with him and he’s clearly a threat to her marriage. It seemed so obvious, but Dan took it as “I don’t see the problem here.” I think a fuck with this guy would be impossible for her to compartmentalize.

14. Ron Jeremy above makes a good point, but if you’re in an open marriage, the marriage is pretty much a failure anyway. Can’t be all too healthy to begin with if you both gotta run around fucking everyone else out there. Also, the dude with the doll is a total pedo. Why Dan are you beating a dead horse, defining age play as different. He didn’t say he liked grown ass women dressed in young clothes. He said he liked the Lolita doll. Lolita would be 12 years old. He fucks the doll because if he fucked the real thing, he’d be in jail. Definately pedo!!

15. @fuckoff
    Have you even LISTENED to Dan before? And yet you say that an open marriage guarantees that the marriage is a failure? Sheesh, some people have thick skulls.

16. WHAT kind of masturbation phenom is the pillow humping caller talking about, and why is it bad?! She was a mumbler. I had no idea what that call was about. Please elucidate!

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