AFP
United States, 2007 (2 min.)
Dir. [REDACTED]
An homage to two of the greatest sci-fi franchises of all time,
AFP is an instant animated classic. Equal parts filth,
inspired animation, and comedy, AFP‘s explosive
ending will leave you laughing even as you can’t help but be
appalled.
AIRPORT BUTTSLUTS 3
United States, 2007 (4 min.)
Dir. [REDACTED]
Minneapolis may claim America’s kinkiest airport restroom, but this
HUMP! entry demonstrates that our very own Sea-Tac Airport has its fair
share of sexual shenanigans happening behind closed stall doors.
BLACK & WHITE
United States, 2007 (5 min.)
Dir. [REDACTED]
Feet. Lots and lots of feet. Feet rubbing cocks, feet being kissed,
feet being splooged on—for those turned on by heels and toes,
this film is for you. For those without a foot fetish, there’s also
plenty of hot fucking action as well. Everybody wins!
BRAVEHARD
United States, 2007 (1 min.)
Dir. [REDACTED]
A send-up of Mel Gibson’s Oscar-winning epic titillates with a
barrage of dirty imagery, as penises and vagina meet for all-out battle
on a lush, green field. Think war is hell? Bravehard proves it
can also be hella hot as well.
BROKEN
United States, 2007 (8 min.)
Dir. [REDACTED]
Part Memento, part outrageously hot man-on-man action
(which, let’s be honest, would have made Memento a whole lot
better), this doozy of a flick opens with a bang and gets filthier as
it goes along. When a mad scientist invents a “sex-slave beam,” a
snoopy private investigator soon finds himself in over his head.
A DATE WITH IVAR
United States, 2007 (7 min.)
Dir. [REDACTED]
Beloved local icon Ivar Haglund meets his match in a pretty young
woman whose love of clams sends her searching for a little sea-salty
action. Native Seattleites will surely find themselves appalled by the
results—though that doesn’t mean they won’t be turned on.
LAUREN LIKES CANDY
United States, 2007 (7 min.)
Dir. [REDACTED]
Perhaps the tamest of the hardcore entries in this year’s HUMP!,
Lauren Likes Candy is a delightfully romantic romp. Two women
spend a tender evening together—an evening that takes a
surprisingly sensual turn. You’ll never look at a chain-link fence the
same way again.
MAN PUSSY SIX
United States, 2007 (2 min.)
Dir. [REDACTED]
This film picks up where the fifth installment of the Man
Pussy serial left off. Straight male fans of cunnilingus may find
themselves questioning their sexual identities after sitting through
this one!
THE OLD MAN AND THE SCHRAMMIE
United States, 2007 (3 min.)
Dir. [REDACTED]
Some of Seattle’s most notable icons (Ivar Haglund) and landmarks
(Olympic Sculpture Park, Ken Schram) are thoroughly violated in this
rousing—and arousing—flick. That twisted old bastard
Hemingway would have been proud.
PETTING FOR PLEASURE
United States, 2007 (1 min.)
Dir. [REDACTED]
HUMP! has always had a strict “no animals” policy. Robotic animals,
on the other hand, are fair game. From a truly twisted mind, this foray
into mechanical beast love proves that not only do robot
canines
get it on, they get naked, too. It all adds up to a strange, and
strangely erotic, experience.
QUEER SAFARI
United States, 2007 (7 min.)
Dir. [REDACTED]
An epic trek into the wilds of queerdom, this documentary seeks to
unravel the many mysteries of homosexuals in their unnatural habitat.
What starts out as a simple academic
exercise, however, quickly
turns into a struggle for survival, as our guide finds himself overcome
by the debauchery occurring around him.
THE RISE OF THE MACHINE
United States, 2007 (7 min.)
Dir. [REDACTED]
In the future, it has been theorized, men and women will no longer
engage in sex with each other. Instead, robotics will provide all the
pleasures we need. The elaborately constructed Rise of the
Machine tackles this theory with nerve and tenacity, providing not
only damp imagery, but a truly frightening vision of Seattle’s
future.
THE ROOM
United States, 2007 (3 min.)
Dir. [REDACTED]
Just what, exactly, goes on in your apartment when you’re not there?
What sort of unseemly
acts occur in your absence? The comedic
The Room utilizes some imaginative special effects in order to
help shed light on the various sexual shenanigans going on in your
living room while you’re away.
SEX ON ROLLER SKATES
United States, 2007 (2 min.)
Dir. [REDACTED]
Gays and musical numbers—together at last! Boasting a truly
catchy tune, this energetic romp delivers exactly what its title
promises. With innovative choreography, brilliant editing, and a ton of
ass-fucking, you’ll be left with feet tapping and a smile across your
face.
THE SUPER TWINK STORY
United States, 2007 (8 min.)
Dir. [REDACTED]
This “docudrama,” from one of HUMP! 2’s most notorious directors,
charts the rise and fall of Twink, a giant Twinkie whose quick rise to
fame and fortune led him to explore his more unsavory desires. Packed
with sex, this is definitely one of the dirtiest entries of this year’s
fest.
SURREAL FIGHTING
CHAMPIONSHIP #69
United States, 2007 (6 min.)
Dir. [REDACTED]
This bruising comedy pits art versus pornography in a
no-holds-barred grudge match. Who comes out on top? Who is the top? The
quips fire fast, the wrestling gets personal, and the winner is really
beside the point.
THANK GOD THE AUDIO WORKS
United States, 2007 (8 min.)
Dir. [REDACTED]
Perhaps the most honest—and pure—entry in this year’s
HUMP!, Thank God the Audio Works is a minimalist classic.
Drawing its inspiration from both traditional hardcore pornography and
the cinema of Michelangelo Antonioni, it is a slow-burning, highly
sensual exercise in sustained coitus. By the time the credits roll,
you’ll find yourself agreeing with the title.
VAMPIRE STRIP CLUB
United States, 2007 (6 min.)
Dir. [REDACTED]
If only all job interviews were like this! When a curious young
woman applies to be a dancer at an underground strip club, she finds
more than she bargained for. Vampires, girl-on-girl action, girl-on-guy
action—it’s all just part of the job.
A WELL-OILED MACHINE
United States, 2007 (8 min.)
Dir. [REDACTED]
Robot meets girl. Robot courts girl. Girl finds robot charming and
invites him back to her apartment for a little girl-on-machine action.
Boasting impressive costume design, this
comedic short brings new
meaning to the term circuit-frying.
WILD STRAWBERRIES
Sweden, 1957 (91 min.)
Dir. [REDACTED]
This elegant and soulful entry follows an aging professor who longs
to explore his long-stifled food fetish before he dies. Startling in
its emotional nakedness, filmed in stunning black and white, it lends
credence to the argument that pornography can, in fact, be art.
ZOMBIE TAPIOCA LOVE FEST 4000
United States, 2007 (5 min.)
Dir. [REDACTED]
Actual quotes from the HUMP! admission crew while screening
Zombie Tapioca Love Fest 4000: “That’s a nice apartment.”
“Hey, I think I know that guy!” “This can’t be good.” “Wow, that’s…
man, that’s dirty.” “Is that a knife?” “She’s pretty hot—you
know, if she wasn’t all zombified.” “Okay, that just ain’t right.”
“Holy shit!” “That had to be a pain in the ass to clean up.” “I can’t
watch!” “Turn it off! Turn it off!” “Man, that has to be in.”