Emerald Shitty

The self-titled 2004 debut album by U.S.E (United State of
Electronica) is the sonic equivalent of a sweaty group hug. It’s a
frothy roller coaster of up-with-people dance pop, a mood-elevating
collection of gorgeous, soaring tunes for people who find Stardust’s
“Music Sounds Better with You” too depressing. The Seattle septet rode
the popularity of the disc all the way to a Japanese tour in 2005,
including an appearance at the Fuji Rock Festival.

Four years later, U.S.E have finally delivered their follow-up,
LOVEWORLD. To absolutely nobody who’s familiar with the band’s
surprise, the new album upholds U.S.E’s ranking among the planet’s
happiest, most positive musicians (that title may have tipped you off,
eh?). Listen to the disc’s 12 songs and you can’t help feeling like
you’ve won a worry-vanquishing amount of money on a TV game show while
strobe lights pulsate, confetti falls, and sunshine glints off of your
glass of champagne as you bask in a Jacuzzi. It’s enough to make one
suspicious.

How can seven Americans in 2009 maintain this steadfast euphoria in
an era fraught with so much spirit-
maiming news? Surely U.S.E must
harbor cauldrons of spite beneath their ultracheerful exteriors.

So just before they play their biggest Seattle gig to date, we
decided to dig beneath U.S.E’s smiley demeanors, open our eyes to their
dark sides, and ask the party people of U.S.E: What do you hate?

• Day jobs that won’t give you a moment’s peace.

• Buying ice cream and dropping it right outside the store.

• Inconsiderate people.

• Being judged by appearances.

• Kids who are too cool for school.

• People who don’t use their turn signals.

• Messing up when playing a show.

• Waiting to get on to play a show.

• Feeling inadequate.

• Fear.

• The number of our age. Maybe if there were a pill to make us
not know, we would relax a little and just roll. The time line and
pressure to accomplish and do this or that would disappear.

• Music playing around you 24 hours a day. I wonder if constant
exposure might diminish the power of music by deadening ears to the
pricks and jumps of music’s sounds. I’ll bet long exposure to the sound
of wind or water is healthier.

• That cover band in Germany named “U.S.E.”

• I hate celebrity-tabloid-type magazines. We should all have
much more important things to worry about.

• I hate cut-away acoustic guitars. Along with that comes a
hate of the sound of an acoustic guitar pickup through a DI.

• I hate gossip. Loose lips sink ships.

• I hate it when people ask me if I have a cold. No, I don’t,
my voice just sounds that way; nice to meet you, too.

• I hate it when people don’t take us seriously. It’s for real!

• I hate it when people take us seriously.

• I hate clear-cutting. Hug trees.

• I hate that rock and roll has damaged my hearing. What?
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!!!

• I hate eating jellyfish. Forevermore.

• I hate being stuck on the interstate. I love driving, so
gimme a highway, the lifeblood of this country!

• I hate waiting. Yet patience is a virtue.

• I hate the feeling after eating a doughnut. Regret.

• I hate it when people say “vocorder.” (It’s a
vocoder!)

• I hate feeling like I’ve got it all figured out, because I
know I don’t.

• I hate mayonnaise.

• I hate when I order something without mayonnaise, but it
still ends up on my food.

• I hate most creamy, white sauces.

• I hate talking on the phone (except to Carly!).

• I hate having to wake up early for work.

• I hate small closets.

• I hate war.

• I hate oppression.

• I hate injustice.

• I hate homophobia.

• I hate when adults are mean to kids.

• I hate being told what to do.

• I hate logic homework.

• I hate loading gear.

• I’m not a hater, I just crush a lot.

• Ticks.

• Lil Wayne. His voice sounds like a car with fingernails for
tires emergency-breaking down a chalkboard street with teakettles
boiling in the back seat and the EBS blaring on a 200w stereo.

• Every time I look in my bathroom mirror, “The Greatest Love
of All” gets stuck in my head.

• The Monkees were underrated.

• The arts don’t pay very much.

• The misallocation of money and intelligence: $5,000 for a
purse, U.S. military expenditures of $650 billion last year.

• Lots of people think that Lenny Kravitz wrote “American
Woman.”

• The annoying sidekick on the Weekend at Bernie’s series starring Andrew McCarthy and Neil Patrick Harris as a young
Bernie.
• Night terrors (although that would be an awesome
name for a band).

• Bible thumpers.

• The words “plop” and “floater.”

• Antonio Sabato Jr.

• Post-it notes (but if they had Charles S. Dutton’s face in
the corner that would be acceptable).

• The racism abounding in Cool Runnings starring John
Candy and Doug E. Doug and Neil Patrick Harris as a young John
Candy.

• That recent song about having a bad day. “So you had a bad
day… something something sooomething…”

• The Blue Angels.

• Zildjian Scimitar series.

• DW 5500TL hi-hat stand.

• Weeping Demon wah pedal. (Why so sad and evil, pedal? Cheer
up.)

• Drummers who talk to the audience between songs.

• People who smell like cheese.

• Being stared at because I am “ethnic” and getting searched by
the FBI at airports.