I‘m a serial dater of undatables. There
are three basic types: (1) the musician (already married, to the band),
(2) the funny guy (met at a bar, never leaves the bar), and (3) the
foreigner (by the time he learns English, he has to go back). None of
the three ever has annny money. You NEVER go on a “date.” You’re
always “meeting them there”—walking or cabbing by yourself,
paying your own cover charge, paying for your movie ticket or food or
drinks, then paying for your cab ride home. This has all been fine for
years, but we’re in a recession, and fuck me running, I’m BROKE!
I heard about Sugardaddie.com from a friend who
went to dinner with a guy who, on the very first date, brought her a
full-length white-fox fur jacket. They had dinner, they talked, and
then she had him drop her off at a rock show. No sex. No kissing. No
second date. Both Sugardaddie.com
and its skeezy little brother SugarDaddyForMe.com promise the
chance to date a wildly successful sugar daddy, and both stress that
they are not sites for prostitution. I signed up for three-day free
trials with both. After fiftysome e-mails, certain things became
crystal clear. On SugarDaddyForMe, there are definitely some married
men looking for sex. Their profiles boast the biggest incomes and have
zero pictures. One guy who checked me out had a profile that stated:
“She will like cuddling, deep passion kissing, and long play times
reaching mountain top experiences,” but then went on to profess, “A
pig’s orgasm lasts 30 minutes, while there are lions who mate 50 times
a day. I would prefer the pig.” And many really, really rich
dudes surprisingly don’t know how to spell and/or form complete
sentences: “I’m a high class casinova – Inruige me!”
After the free trial, I had 17 e-mails on
“Sugardaddie.com that I couldn’t read
unless I signed up. I had to know: Could they spell? Were any of them
musicians? I bought a $19.99 one-month membership. In my in-box:
three doctors, one dentist, one lawyer, and one drugged-out-looking
Italian from New Jersey (I bet he plays guitar). I exchanged e-mails
with a few of them and planned a date with a 47-year-old “Executive
Manager” whose profile tag read: “Simple Man Looking for Wonderful
Woman to Take Care Of.” He was gap-toothed and a decent writer. Then
today he sent me an e-mail titled “Babe Come Home to Daddy” that read
like a poem: “Baby won’t you please come home/’Cause your daddy’s all
alone/I have tried in vain/Never no more to call your name/When you
left you broke my heart/Because I never thought we’d part/Every hour in
the day/You will hear me say: Baby come home.” Hmm. I think I’ll go
meet a friend at the Comet for a coupla $1 beers and think that one
over for a while. 
Seriously, you’re expecting proper spelling from users of a site called ‘daddie’?
Big Pimpin! Big Pimpin!
AC/DC? Love me for the Money!
It should read like a song, because it used to be sung by Frank Sinatra.
Drunk People are So Meta!!!!
Punchington Out.
I bet that dude really did want to be inruiged. Whatever the fuck that is.
Dude, the good stuff is all at seekingarrangements.com. It’s free for a sugar baby or whatever we’re referred to as. If only I were single now…
Must be nice to be a woman and have these options. Man’s world? Yeah, riiiight.
i got a half-rack of pbr at home if you wanna come over!
Agreed with aloggerette.. the author took the low road with sugardaddie.com. Made for a funny article though. FWIW, seekingarrangement.com is definitely a better venue for the serious. Not that you won’t find some sketchy / married guys & gals there as well, like anywhere. But speaking personally as a member, I’ve found decent people of all types there. Arrangements are definitely not for everyone, but if you have some common sense and something to offer, they can work out well..
Yup–sounds about right! I have received offers from dentists who could not spell, foreign gentlemen who write in texting language, and those that live vicariously through a picture (probably whacking off secretly) and wishing they could get it on with their own wives. Sad really. I had to get off the sugardaddie site when one contacted me for a drink and he was just down the street. He didn’t know that–but in this small town that’s too close for comfort. I concur with the article and will try the other site mentioned.