Acts of War: On Saturday, Trump ordered the bombing of three nuclear facilities in Iran. In an operation that included seven B-2 stealth bombers, two dozen tomahawk cruise missiles, and 14 “bunker-buster” bombs, the US military claims they severely damaged all three sites, and in the process, took a gamble that none of Trump’s predecessors were willing to bet on—that Iran is too weak to retaliate. 

Why? Maybe because Netanyahu asked him to. Maybe because no one showed up to his birthday party. Israel claimed Iran’s nuclear program is an imminent threat, but just a couple months ago, US Director of National Intelligence Tusli Gabbard testified that Iran had not reauthorized their nuclear program. And since the attack, US officials have acknowledged that they didn’t know if Iran had moved their stockpile of enriched uranium before the bombing.

Okay, now that we’re through that part of this nightmare, let’s do the weather. It’s officially summer, and we’re looking at a pretty perfect week. No rain, highs in the 60s and 70s. Just a couple cloudy days in the middle. It’s get-outside-and-celebrate-pride weather.

Saka’s Yelling at a Curb Again: Last week, Councilmember Rob Saka used his email newsletter to lose his ever-loving mind about the people who opposed his Pet Curb Project. In the email, which PubliCola pointed out was a whopping 2,100 words long, announced the final compromise on the project—including an FAQ about how it’s totally not his pet project. In it, he accused the people who opposed removing an 8-inch curb that blocks illegal left turns into his kids’ preschool of, somehow, simultaneously: supporting Trump’s anti-immigrant policies, being part of the “Defund the Police” movement, and partaking in “White Saviorism.” Someone take his computer away and give him a paper bag to breathe into.

Trump Tells WA to Fix It Yerself: Back in November, a bomb cyclone did $34 million of damage to our state. Typically, that’s more than double the amount to trigger FEMA assistance from the federal government. But we all know “typical” doesn’t mean a whole lot anymore. Trump already rejected former Governor Inslee’s request for assistance back in April, and on Friday, Trump doubled down and refused Governor Ferguson’s appeal. “Maybe he’s denying all claims,” you might wonder. Nope—he approved Arkansas Governor Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ (remember her??) appeal in May. Maybe it has something to do with the way we voted last November.

DOJ Defends WA Sex Pests: Trump’s Department of Justice announced this morning that it’s suing Washington State over our law requiring Catholic priests to report child abuse. They think that it violates Catholics’ free exercise of religion because it requires them to disclose information shared in confession. I think the DOJ should take a beat and consider whether or not they want to be remembered as pro-child sex abuse.

The Onion Reads Congress for Filth: Yesterday, The Onion ran a full-page ad in the New York Times, showing this weekend’s top headline: “Congress, Now More Than Ever, Our Nation Needs Your Cowardice.” “We teeter on the brink of collapse into an authoritarian state,” the paper wrote in their editorial. “That is why, today, The Onion calls upon our lawmakers to sit back and do absolutely nothing.” And this morning, as every member of Congress came back from their recess to find a copy of it in their mailbox.

 

 

Teachers’ Pet from Hell: At the University of Florida, student Preston Damsky wrote a paper arguing that the framers of the Constitution never meant for it to apply to all people, just white people. He went on to argue for the removal of voting rights for any non-white Americans, and for shoot-to-kill orders against “criminal infiltrators at the border.” So what did his professor, Trump-nominated judge John L. Badalamenti, do after he read all of that hateful bile? He gave him the “book award,” naming Damsky as the best student in the class. This triggered a nightmarish campus debate about “freedom of speech” that will make your eyeballs bleed. The school’s interim dean, Merritt McAlister, defended the decision, arguing that professors aren’t allowed to engage in “viewpoint discrimination.” She also invoked the idea of “institutional neutrality,” an increasingly popular policy among college administrators that argues that schools shouldn’t take public positions on “hot-button issues.” You know, like not shooting immigrants.

The Mass Shooting that Wasn’t: Yesterday in Wayne, Michigan, a 31-year-old man wearing a tactical vest and holding a handgun and a rifle opened fire outside a Michigan church filled with congregants. He shot one person in the leg before a parishioner rammed him with his pickup truck, and security staff shot and killed him. The local police chief said the shooter appeared to be suffering from a mental health crisis.

Man Stabbed in U District: SPD reported that at 4:30 a.m. Sunday morning, a man was found with life-threatening injuries on 47th and University Way NE. He was taken to Harborview, but later died. If you know anything about it, you can call the Violent Crimes Tip Line at 206-233-5000.

Stop Driving Into This Poor Woman’s Home: Speeding cars on Rainier Avenue have careened off the street and into Madelyn Jung’s Skyway home four times just in the last year. According to the Seattle Times, “speeding and erratic drivers have been crashing into homes and parked cars for years along this 2-mile stretch of Rainier at the very south end of Seattle.” SDOT has added guardrails and an enhanced crosswalk with flashing yellow lights, but they haven’t helped. Let’s get some stop signs and speed bumps so Jung can stop dragging cars out of her backyard please?

Movin’ on Up: If you’ve ever contributed to Washington Democrats, you know Shasti Conrad’s name—because it’s appeared in your email relentlessly to ask you if you can find just five more dollars in your couch cushions to support the local party. Now, the two-term leader of the WA Dems is leaving the nest. In the party’s longest-ever election, she was chosen as vice-chair of the Democratic National Committee. The DNC has been doing some soul searching, and some people in the party (*cough* Adam Smith) have argued that we lost the last election because the Democratic Party has shifted oh-so-far left. Conrad has called bullshit on that. She’s argued that Dems don’t need to drastically change their message or positions to win elections, they just have to improve how they communicate with voters.

Wanna Make Your Week a Little Gayer? It’s the last week of Pride Month, and if you know what's good for you, you’ll use The Stranger’s Comprehensive Pride Listings to squeeze every ounce of glitter and leather and, *ahem* other things, out of it. Go to Tush! Find out what’s so gay about Frasier! Check out Queer Country Dance Night! Go get your queer joy. You deserve it.