Foxes in the Hen House: West Seattle’s Luna Park Cafe was the victim of egg theft last week. Thieves stole more than 500 eggs. They nabbed other things, too, like a bit of bacon, ground beef, and “liquid egg products.” In total, the thieves stole $780 worth of goods. Eggs accounted for $387 of the losses.

Egg Snatching Is in These Days: With eggs being a hot and limited commodity, they are now equivalent to gold, or a beautiful jewel. Last week, thieves snatched 100,000 eggs from a truck in Pennsylvania. 

Let’s check in on bird flu, shall we? A Nevada dairy worker tested positive for a strain of the H5N1 bird flu known as D1.1 which had previously only been found in wild birds. Recently, Nevada dairy cows contracted the D1.1 strain. Researchers don’t know how the strain made the jump from wild birds to cows, but they’ve determined this strain may contain changes in the virus’s genetic code that make it easier to transfer itself into mammals. 

NYC Closes Live Bird Markets: New York State’s Department of Agriculture and Markets ordered around 80 live bird markets in New York City as well as Westchester, Nassau, and Suffolk Counties to close after seven cases of bird flu were detected at markets around the Big Apple. Those markets—which butcher other animals as well as chickens—sell to restaurants as well as the general public. They must be cleaned and disinfected and then can open again in five days. Some local lawmakers don’t think five days is enough time to avert any avian flu disasters and believe the markets should close for the foreseeable future. 

At Least Science Will Protect Us: Wait, shit. Thanks to the Trump administration, the National Institutes of Health, which helps fund medical research through grants to universities, medical schools, and other institutions will cap funding for “indirect costs.” Last year, 26 percent, or $9 billion of $35 billion, of NIH grant money was spent on overhead costs to help institutions pay for buildings, utilities, and support staff. Now, the NIH is capping those overhead costs at around $4 billion. Doctors and researchers say this will cut into research nationwide. “These are real consequences, longer waits for cures and for diagnosis, slower scientific progress, losing out to competitors around the world, and fewer jobs,” Dr. David J. Skorton, president of the Association of American Medical Colleges, told the New York Times. Locally, institutions such as the University of Washington, Seattle Children’s Hospital, and Fred Hutchinson Cancer Center to name a few will likely be impacted. 

The Super Bowl: Yes, yes, the big game happened. Yes, thank goodness, the Philadelphia Eagles beat the Kansas City Chiefs. Yes, the ads were worse than we could have ever expected (Childish Gambino’s “This is America” in a weight loss drug ad???). What is actually worth noting, however, are the acts of resistance made by Black artists with Trump in attendance. 

First, Jon Batiste: Over the weekend, Trump announced he would be firing several board members at Washington D.C.’s John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts, a touchstone for arts and culture at home and abroad, and taking over as the chair of the foundation. This seems… bad. He cited the Kennedy Center hosting a drag performance as his rationale for taking things over. It’s unclear who on the board Trump fired. The move gave extra gravitas to singer and pianist Jon Batiste’s Super Bowl National Anthem performance. Batiste is (or was, depending on how this news shakes out) on the board at the Kennedy Center. He tweaked the anthem slightly, emphasizing “land of the free” by singing it three times, in front of Trump. 

K. Dot: Whew, that Kendrick Lamar half-time show packed a punch. Most obviously, it packed a punch for poor ol’ Drake, the subject of Lamar’s Grammy-winning hit “Not Like Us.” Aside from those jabs, Kendrick had some shit to say to the Super Bowl audience, especially one audience member in particular.  An Uncle Sam-costumed Samuel L. Jackson narrated and interrupted, telling Kendrick his performance was “too loud, too reckless, too ghetto.” Black dancers in red, white, and blue formed an American flag out of their bodies. Before launching into his finale, Kendrick said, “40 acres and a mule this is bigger than music.” What does it all mean? You can read some analysis here.

Flag on the play: During Kendrick’s performance, one dancer decided to spice things up by unveiling a Sudanese and Palestinian flag sewn together. They then took off across the field, flags waving, making it a solid 20 whole seconds before security did what security tackled them. The performer was swiftly arrested, because, as we all know, the only political statements allowed at the Super Bowl are military flyovers and god-awful beer commercials about freedom.

Serena’s Revenge: Last word on the big game (we swear). The Chiefs weren’t the only ones getting steamrolled Sunday. Drake took an L so brutal it came with its own Serena Williams highlight reel. Kendrick drops a line, the camera cuts to Serena dancing, and half of America collectively squints: Is that Serena Williams? Yes, folks, that’s greatness, unbothered and undefeated. Meanwhile, Drake’s somewhere clutching a bottle of rosé, wondering how it all went so wrong. Call her husband a “groupie”? Buddy, she just turned the Super Bowl into your personal roast.

Car Crashes into Bus, Kills 3: A car tried to pass traffic on Highway 28 about 10 miles east of Wenatchee on Sunday. It slammed into a charter bus in the eastbound lane. The crash killed the driver and passenger in the car as well as the bus driver. Two bus passengers suffered critical injuries and four others were seriously injured, but not in a life-threatening way. 

Three-Alarm Fire in Ballard: A building under construction caught fire in Ballard on Sunday. It collapsed. The fire spread to neighboring townhomes, damaging the second and third floors. Firefighters got the blaze under control. No one was injured. 

Something Weird: The European Space Agency’s Euclid telescope is a spacecraft with the sole purpose of exploring the dark Universe. New photos from Euclid show a galaxy more than 4 billion light years away where the starlight is bent due to the galaxy’s extreme gravity. The effect is called an Einstein ring. 

More Lawsuits against Trump: On Friday, Washington’s Attorney General Nick Brown sued the Trump administration for Trump’s executive order titled “Protecting Children from Chemical and Surgical Mutilation.” It’s an order that stops any federal funding for gender-affirming care for trans kids. Brown is seeking a temporary restraining order to block the order. Meanwhile, King County joined sanctuary cities in a lawsuit against Trump, alleging the administration is “illegally commandeering local law enforcement and violating states’ rights” in Trump’s bid to deport immigrants. Notably, King County is the only county on this lawsuit. City attorneys from Portland, Ore., San Francisco, Calif.,  and New Haven, Conn filed their suits. Seattle’s city attorney—a woman who changed her party affiliation to Republican four years into Trump’s first presidency—is not a part of this suit. 

More Tariffs from Trump: Just what the people wanted! Even more things will become even more expensive. This time, Trump is tacking 25 percent tariffs on aluminum and steel imports. 

Other Blowhard Bullshit: Trump says he’s going to stop the production of pennies. He says he’s serious about making Canada the 51st state. 

We’ve Got the Blues: Tom Robbins, the best-selling author of Jitterbug Perfume and Even Cowgirls Get the Blues, passed away yesterday. He was 92. Robbins lived and wrote in the PNW for 60 years—first in Seattle, but mostly in La Conner, WA, “a place he chose because of its remoteness and its tolerance for artistic types,” the Seattle Times wrote. He worked for nearly every Seattle publication over the years (though notably, not The Stranger): He was a copy editor for the Seattle PI while he was writing his first book; a long-time art critic for the Seattle Times before he found success as a novelist; and an arts columnist for Seattle Magazine. But he’s remembered for his novels—Another Roadside Attraction, Jitterbug, Cowgirls, just to name a few—and their absolute dedication to whimsy, fantastical imagination, and LSD. He was a fixture in the Seattle literary scene for decades, and he’ll be missed. Rest in Whimsy, Tom. 

A recommendation for your Monday: I just so happen to be in the middle of reading my first Robbins novel (and his first, for that matter), “Another Roadside Attraction.” I’ve been caught up in the beauty of his language, especially the way he describes the Puget Sound area.  I’m sad about his passing, though I’m excited to continue through his body of work. Anyway, I recommend you read his books, but the real recommendation is the reason I picked up this book in the first place. My favorite episode of the podcast “Heavyweight” is about a bookstore in Texas called “Another Roadside Attraction.” It’s astounding:

Nathalie Graham covers anything she finds fun, weird, or interesting. You can find a lot of that in her column, Play Date. Her work has also appeared around town in The Seattle Times, GeekWire, and the...

29 replies on “Slog AM: Egg Thieves Hit West Seattle Cafe, a Radical Super Bowl, a Bent Galaxy”

  1. “A new generation of American gun owners who are younger, more racially diverse and drawn to tactical training and self-defense are regularly watching firearms channels. The content has garnered more than 29 billion views on YouTube, according to unpublished data from researchers at the Institute for Strategic Dialogue and the Atlantic Council’s Digital Forensic Research Lab.”

    https://www.seattletimes.com/nation-world/how-youtube-is-changing-american-gun-culture/

    The sky is not falling. Guns in private hands are expanding, and murder and assault rates remain at 40 year lows. Go figure.

  3. Dang… RIP Mr. Robbins. He ranks for me right up there with Vonnegut and Heller for imagination, whimsy, wit, and sneaking in a powerful message underneath.

    Safe travels, compadre.

    Oh, and fuck pennies.

  4. Hooray for Philly’s Eagles, Superbowl LIX champs, taking a crap on Musk’s Mein Trumpf!

    Rest in whimsical peace, Tom Robbins, and for adding spice to my old hometown on the channel.

  6. @2: nickels cost 13.4 cents each. it’s a slippery slope.

    @1: more armed idiots are not something to celebrate. the firearm suicide rate keeps going up:

    Number of firearm suicides per year in the United States

    2019: 7.30 per 100,000 people

    2020: 7.32 per 100,000 people

    2021: 7.93 per 100,000 people

    2022: 8.12 per 100,000 people

    2023: 8.16 per 100,000 people

  7. Ohh, brother about the egg situation, exacerbated by avian bird flu.

    How long before Mu$k’$ Mein Trumpfed Shit House gets pelted with rotten eggs, now that they’re such a rare commodity?

  9. The key to slowing down bird flu is to cut the gas to what’s driving it: High-density animal farming, the engine of rapid viral mutation. It’s been 100 years since Republicans promised “a chicken in every pot.” Maybe RFK can get behind a new effort to put 6 chickens and a nanny goat in every yard?

  10. I’m always baffled by trend pieces like @1 that make bold declarations about the changing social landscape but the whole thing is based on a handful of anecdotes. I guess people fall for it.

  14. The KL halftime show was boring (guess it was hip to the boring game surrounding it). A superbowl halftime show should be about spectacle, understand a large part of the audience has no idea who you are, is typically background noise – it should not be cerebral, obtuse, focused on its performer’s isolated bubble. I was hoping we’d get something similar to his performance with Dre, Snoop, et al but alas, no.

    And will someone please share the memo with Nat to stop linking / financial support a platform trying to actively destroy what remains of our society.

  17. @13: Inappropriate at most, but by no means racist. America is a melting pot, and you can’t champion diversity and inclusion and object to every cultural appropriation.

  18. @13 They did tho. In the fourth quarter when the jefes scored a few points finally, the red and yellows went into their chant. I thought it was funny. I’m sure Drumpf wanted to join in too until he realized they are the LOSERS!! (He probably mumbled along under his breath, loser that he is).

    And KL did an awesome job, gave this fart knocker country exactly what it deserves as it expedites the torching of our world. Glad they couldn’t understand it, I found it exciting. I LOVED all the crotch grabbing, I bet that excited the Drumpf too. Gave it the real salute… “Hail to the Chief, biggest loser of all them chiefs!!!” Fuck Trump.

  20. The tomahawk chop is not cultural appropriation, it’s a racist caricature of cultures that were nearly wiped off the face of the earth by the people who founded this “melting pot.”

  22. @20 – weren’t those cultures at war with each other for centuries (with the abject goal of wiping their opponents off the face of the Earth) before the white man ever stepped foot on this continent?

  23. @17 but your opinion isn’t really relevant. The people whose culture is being mimicked are the only ones who should reasonably have a say in the matter. If actual Native American/Indians find it offensive the fans should stop.

  24. @22 Your comment just exemplifies why your MAGA crap is so pathetic. You have such a low opinion of humanity that you can only endeavor to believe that one race has to prevail over the other. Isn’t it time for you to go eat mothers regurgitate. Hurry now! Head up and open the throat!!!

  28. @6 Max Solomon: Sigh. Your posted statistics offer glaring proof that guns are clearly not the answer, and that the batshit crazy MAGA tools who worship them are numb and brainless pawns of Elon Mu$k and his bought and paid for sock puppet, Mein Trumpf.

    And these fascists are hell bent on waging WWIII / Civil War 2.0 in their senseless race to the bottom.

    When is this dystopian nightmare going to end?

  29. @24 Hayduke Forever!, @25 Swiftress, and @26 boatgeek, re: @22: Forget it. Usually whenever I see that idiot’s comments I just scroll past.

    Baby Doofus’s IQ matches his shoe size. Most likely an implanted AI microchip has long reduced any remaining brain tissue of his to shit. Doofy’s been so wildly programmed to babble Mein Trumpf gibberish he’ll drop dead from blindly marching in lockstep with the rest of the MAGA lemmings.

Comments are closed.